Dad Bods {ManXMan} NaNoWriMo 2018✔

{TWENTY-NINE}

{TWENTY-NINE}

Mom took another drag of her cigarette. Blew out the smoke before inhaling the chemicals again. Finally, she reached the end of the stick, throwing it in the old pineapple can that we had filled with water to hold her old butts while she was in town.

She pursed her lips, before pressing them into a thin line, her eyes never looking towards me as the thought over what I had said.

As I watched her my phone pinged, then again, two messages that I could only assume were from Scott.

"Are you sure?" Her voice was low, not quite a whisper, but low enough that if there had been a loud car on the nearby road I wouldn't have heard her.

"A while. I've tried to keep it to myself. Live the life I know I should live. But, I met somebody. And they showed me a life I want to live."

Her brows knitted together as she finally looked at me. "Who told you that you should be living a life that wasn't the one you wanted?"

"Uh, your brother?"

Mom sighed, looking down before looking back at me. "I'm sorry he raised you to think that Sidney, that wasn't something your dad and I ever wanted you to think. We always had a feeling you were... different."

"You— you did?"

A ghost of a smile played on her lips. "When you were four, we went to your cousin Christina's birthday party. There you met Toby, you spoke about him for months, and when you finally forgot about Toby, you met Lee. Told us all about you they were your boyfriends, how you wanted to marry them. When you told me about Janet, I thought— maybe it was just a faze you had gone through, something you would just grow out of. You were never very feminine. Didn't fit any of the stereotypes. It's ignorant to think you have to be a certain way to like someone. But, it was just what I had thought." Mom whispered the last part, sighing once she was done.

I couldn't remember Toby or Lee. Or ever saying I had boyfriends growing up, but it was comforting to know that if my father was here, it wasn't something he was hateful about. It wasn't something that was tainted into my memory of him. Because I had never had a memory of my father being anything but funny and always smiling, right up to the end. Not one memory of him yelling, or being hateful or telling me something wasn't right about me.

I sighed, wrapping an arm loosely around moms shoulder, and naturally, she moved into me, letting me hug her to my chest. "Thanks, mom. I'm going back to my new place tomorrow, you can come if you want. Scott wants to meet you."

Mom looked up at me and gave me a small, but reassuring smile. "I would like that sweetheart. Let's see how tonight goes."

It was around ten that same night, Morgan was long asleep, mom and Janet were downstairs watching a movie, and no doubt talking about what I had just finished telling mom hours earlier.

I knocked on Eric's door a twice and waited outside of it until I hear the mumbled come in from the other side of the doorway.

Eric was sitting on his bed, headset on as his fingers twitched over the controller in his hand. "What the fuck are you doing Sam?! I told you to cover me!" Eric yelled into the built-in mic. "Taj, Henry, brace right. Matthew cover me I'm AFK. Sam, stop fucking shit up." He huffed, pressing a button to mute in screen and lowering his headset to his neck. "What do you want?" His voice was like venom, making me nearly flinch.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We've got nothing to talk about."

I sighed, making my way into his room, closing the room behind me. I sat on his bed, not to close to him to get into his bubble, but enough to put a hand on him if I needed to. "Look, Eric. I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be. I get it. But I wanted to come in here and talk to you. I want you to tell me what you're felling. And in turn, I'll tell you what I'm feeling. How does that sound? We put everything on the table."

"How I'm feeling?" He growled, turning his body towards me, on leg going on the bed. "How I'm feeling? You took me out on the town with your fuck buddy, I caught you guys. Twice. On dates in the city. You cheated on my mom. And you think I'd be fine with that? Are you stupid?"

I nodded, trying not to show how much his words hurt me. But he wasn't wrong. He caught us out together, twice. Even if one time we weren't anything to each other at the time. There were feelings tied in, and there was no denying that.

"You did. And I'm so sorry about that. You're right. I was stupid. I wasn't thinking. But just know Scott and I was never together in the ways you're thinking when your mother didn't know about us. I couldn't do that to her, or him. I don't expect you to be ok with it. Not at all. But you're still my son and I"m going to do everything in my power to keep you in my life, because you're the world to me. And you can push me away as much as you like. But I'm never going far."

Eric looked at me, his eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you just let us know when it started?"

"Because I was scared, Eric. My growing up was different from yours. I didn't like in an open household. And Scott and I started out as friends, really it hasn't been going on as long as you think. When you saw us at the movies, that was our first time ever our together, and it was strictly as friends."

"The hockey game?"

"We were still friends then too. But we had kissed a few days before, But it wasn't spoken about, it was the first time."

"The store?"

"We had just had dinner, it was our first time out in public together."

Eric nodded, his eyes not as narrowed now but his brows still furrowed.

"I'm still mad at you."

"You have every right to be."

"I want fifty dollars."

"I'll give you sixty."

"Deal."

I smiled. "Deal."

You guys. We have one chapter left. Someone hold me, I'm not ready.

Thank you to my good friend saintc for my new cover! Notice the new badge? I reached my NaNo goal! I couldn't have done it without you all. Thank you so much for your support♡