The Other Girl [A Ryden Fic] (Discontinued)

Live In Chicago

I held my Fender guitar as I got ready to step onto stage. They were saying our names one by one. I looked at Brendon, who was getting ready. We were all jumpy and excited. I could only smile when seeing him like this. He's beautiful (Not in a gay way). It amazed me how energetic and interactive he could be. I admired how confident he was. He turned his attention me. He opened his mouth to say something.
" Ryan. It's time" he says. I snap out of my thoughts. Turns out they called me out but I was lost in my thoughts. Thank goodness Brendon was here to pull me out.

" Sorry" I said simply before waling out onto the stage. I was greeted by the screams of the fans. I simply smiled and waved at them. I proceeded to strum my guitar. They'd scream, cheering for me. Spencer played a drum fill and naturally, they'd scream louder. I could hear Jon laughing. He was excited. Everyone was excited but I, I'm honestly terrified. The fear of messing up in front of these people who look up to me. I cannot possibly let them down.
My hands were shaking but I dismissed them. I made it a goal for myself not to rely on alcohol or drugs to get through performances. I need to be conscious. The held onto the microphone in front of me, allowing my guitar to hang of my body.
" Ladies and gentlemen, Brendon Urie!" I announced his name and Brendon made his way on stage. The crowd cheered louder than before.

Brendon went immediately to his mic to great the audience.
" Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! We're Panic! At The Disco and I know we've been gone so, here's a song for you!" He cheered, conducting the crowd. He winked at me. It was Brendon's way of saying:
" START PLAYING, RYAN"
Every time he does that, I can't help but to blush. I don't know why but it's charming. I don't love him but he makes me feel weird and warm. I played the starting rift to 'We're So Starving' and Brendon sung the lyrics. The drums kick in.
The live went well. It always go well. Probably because Brendon was so good at conducting the crowd?

Naturally, by the time the live ended, it was quite late. We went to hang out in our hotel rooms. We rode out tour van there. We weren't a big band or anything; at least to me. From what I see, we're still a small band from Las Vegas but I don't mind. As long as we were together and we write music that mean something to us. We're never going to lose that part of us. Panic! At The Disco will never be a band who writes amateur and nonsensical lyrics.

I would leave to Brendon's room after cleaning up. He stays in the room next to me so, I was actually quite relieved that we decided to hang out in his room. It was incredibly convenient for me but otherwise for Jon and Spencer. They stay a level above us. I can imagine the pain Jon Walker and Spencer Smith have to endure whenever we hang out in either Brendon's or my room. Imagine the seconds wasted in riding the elevator to the lower floor. I can't. It's too much for me.
I knock once and the door swung open. It was as if he was waiting for us. I like to think he waited for me instead of 'us'. A boyish smile on his face. I returned it. He told me to come in and so, I did. I took a seat on his bed. It was bouncy and comfortable. Better than mine. I guess vocalists always do get the better stuff. My brown orbs would land on Brendon who was walking around the room. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was nervous.

" Where's Spencer and Jon?" I asked. I thought it was about time we start a conversation.

" I told them that the hangout was cancelled" he answered.

Maybe he thought I would be mad? Is that why he was nervous? Possibly.
I wasn't mad. We can always call them back and tell them Brendon made a mistake. No problem really.
Or was it because he forgot to tell me? Perhaps I don't have significance to his life? He wants me out? Okay. No, let's not be pessimistic here, Ryan.

" I can leave if you'd like" I gave a simple statement. I made sure it didn't sound like I was looking for a fight. I had a smile too to show that I didn't mean trouble nor I was mad at him. I got up from his bed.

" No, don't. I need to tell you something" he tried to stop me, motioning to the bed as if it was an invitation to 'sit back down'. I took the invitation.

" What is it?" I asked, slightly curious about what he wanted to tell me. Are they the words I've been waiting for ever since the start of the Live In Denver show?
He sat down beside me, as if he was prepping himself for a news break. He smiled as he scanned his memories. I could see his cheeks flush red.

" Okay okay. So, this morning, I met this girl just outside the venue. She wasn't a fan or anything. I think she was in charge of organising our live show today?" He started to ramble. I already don't like this story.

" Well?" I tried to push him back into topic.

" Well, her name is Sarah Orzechowski and oh gosh, Ry. I think I've been struck with love at first sight!" He exclaimed. He lied on the bed. He looked like he was filled to the brim with happiness and joy. I felt negative. I'm not going to call it jealousy because it isn't. I just felt mad. It made me angry to see Brendon with the other girl. Yes, that's what I'm calling her. She's not Sarah. She's just 'The Other Girl'.

Love at first sight sounds outlandish. No such thing.
" Who are you? Dallon Weekes? A member of The Brobecks? Love at first sight isn't a thing" I tell him. I stop myself from saying more after realising how cold and distant I sounded. I'm not that surprised I snapped. After all, the news made my blood boil. I still don't know why. It just made me angry.

" I thought I could trust you to respect how I feel towards her. After all, you are my closest friend at the moment, Ryan" he replied. He seemed upset with my reaction. I couldn't blame him. I would be upset if someone told me that too.
Do note the fact he called me his 'best friend'. I honestly want more than that. I don't just want to be his 'best friend'. I want more. I can't possibly tell him that though. Plus, I don't want to loose what we have now.

" Do you really love her?" I asked him.
What came out of his mouth made me want to cry. It made me want to weep alone.

" Of course I do. I'd die for her. She stole my heart." He answered. I was hurt. He couldn't see that I was hurt. Why was I even hurt? Not that this means anything.

" I see" I said, standing up from the bed and I head towards the door. He asked me what I was doing and I simply told him that it was getting late. It was time I left.

" Goodnight, Ryan"

I nodded.
' Goodnight, my love' I thought.
At this moment, I knew my feelings were true. Never had I felt this way towards anyone. Sure, one could argue I felt love with Jac Vanek but honestly, my attraction to Brendon was much stronger than she could ever wish for. I love Brendon Urie.
This man stole my heart and gave away his to the other girl. To this Sarah Orzechowski.

I went back to my room to weep. To let go of the emotions I held in. It took me so long to confirm. I always knew that I would confess when I confirmed these feelings. Now that they are confirmed, I don't think I want to.

Especially not when he's infatuated with the other girl.