The Other Girl [A Ryden Fic] (Discontinued)

Almost

'Almost' is the saddest word in the English dictionary. Why? Because word has caused me so much pain.
I was almost good enough. He almost loved me. My life was almost perfect. I almost made it to the show.
If you remember, I ran away from the band after our little hang out session. I didn't go back to the hotel. I practically stayed at the park the whole night. I didn't sleep. Couldn't if I tried to anyway.

I sat on the bench I was sitting at for the last couple of hours. I haven't seen the others. I don't think they're looking for me. It's fine. I don't plan on going back. I lost track of time. I think it's around 8 in the morning? I'm not so sure. I was lost in my head until a guy who seemed to be a gardener interrupted me. From the get go, the most out there feature about him was his horrible haircut and his strong butt chin. He looked really young. Around 16? Too young for work if you ask me.

" Hey.." he said, trying to get a good look at me. I look up, meeting his gaze.

" I saw you here last night. You spent your night here?" He asked, resting his weight on one of his leg. I nodded, breaking our gaze. He seemed to be trying to make s conversation. He didn't seem to be the type to have a lot of friends. He took a seat next to me.

" Seesh.. Rough. It's okay, man. Thing'll get better. I've been there. Money's real hard to get sometimes" He started to ramble on. He must've thought I was homeless or something. I looked at him and said with a straight face:
" I'm not homeless"

He did the 'oh shit I messed up' face. He tried changing the subject though. This is probably the most unnatural conversation I have ever had with another human being.
" I'm Sebastian Danzig Kropp by the way" he decided to introduce himself to me.

" It's odd that you decide to introduce yourself with your full name" I replied.

" It's normal considering I have two other brothers." He said, reaching for something. He pulled out his wallet and showed me a picture of his two brothers.
" That's Remington" he pointed at a boy who looked 14 and then, proceeded to point at the other brother, who seemed three years younger than Remington.
" That's Emerson. He drums" he added the extra fun fact. Honestly, I couldn't care less but he was the only company I have right now.

" Nice they're really cute" I simply said. No extra comment. I clearly showed no interest but he kept talking until he asked me something.

" Well, enough about me. What about you? Didn't catch your name there" he said, putting an end to his constant rambling.

" George Ryan Ross The Third" I answered. I gave my full name since he gave me his.
" Call me Ryan Ross" I added.

He had a surprised face. He knows who I am. For sure. My name comes up in the radio quite a lot. Sebastian's shocked expression turned into a smile. He looked at me with awe.

" You're the Ryan Ross! From Panic! At The Disco" he told me something I knew. For god's sake, people seem to think that I don't know who I am.

" That's me" I said. Most of my reply were half assed. Mostly because I wasn't interested in talking to this guy.

" Dudee doesn't Panic! have a gig near here about right now?" He asked. He was right.

" Yep" I answered nonchalantly. I had no intention in going back to the band. Mostly because I wanted to protect my pride and I was too lazy to explain why I ran off without any context other than 'Ryan's mad at Brendon because he doesn't acknowledged all their joke kisses before'. I'm tired.

Sebastian would look at me with worried eyes. He sighed," Look, I know it's not my business but your bandmates need you on that stage."
I rolled my eyes. This kid knows nothing about me or my band or my life. This facts didn't stop him from convincing me from going back.

" You're Ryan Ross, lead guitarist of Panic! At The Disco. You're irreplaceable. I don't know why you're mopping around but I know that your band needs you up there with them" He continues. I'm practically convinced. He was right. Sarah cannot replace me. Even if I cannot belong to Brendon, I can still have the privilege to play on stage with him.

" Take my advice. From a guitarist to another" he ends with that. I looked at him, confused slightly.

" I thought you work as a gardener?" I asked out of pure confusion.

" Kropp Circle. A Disney band. This job is just a part time thing" he explained.

" Oh yeah. I think my little cousin listens to you" I tell him, standing up. I smiled at him. I was determined. I'm thankful to this weird guy.  If it weren't for him, who knows how I'll end up. Maybe, Brendon and the rest would've hated my guts forever.  It's okay, though. I would rather play another show with him and have him hate me forever than never see him ever again.

I would start to take a few steps away Sebastian.

" You're making the right decision" he tells. I nod.

" You should change the band name." I replied with nothing related to his previous statement.

" To what?"

" I don't know. Maybe base your band name on where your grandparents met?" I suggested. I didn't meet my grandparents but I assumed he did. That was the last I saw of Sebastian. The next moment, I could remember running to the venue. The place where I'm supposed to be. Though, when I got there, I saw someone, standing, playing a song with the band with my guitar. My Fender. With my band mates. With my Brendon.

I would watched them from the audience. I was frozen still. I wanted to move but I couldn't. I felt like a puppet. The people around my controlled how I moved to the music. My silence was broken by a girl, screaming:
" I FOUND RYAN ROSS!"

I immediately snap out of whatever I was experiencing. A thousand eyes were on me. They were accompanied by screaming as I was gently nudged to the stage the members of the pit. I could see Jon looking at me. His gaze said:
" I'm disappointed in you, Ryan"

I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. Imagine how Brendon looked at me. I didn't look back at him. I could tell that he was just as disappointed as Jon. I couldn't live with that guilt. Especially from someone as important as Brendon. None of them helped me on stage. I simply was squished into the front of the stage, as if I could climb up.

When will this end?