im afraid so |✓| finn wolfhard

¹⁴ { soul }

the next morning brought gloom over the vancouver area. a cold, rainy spring day that set fire to boredom within violets mind.

she lay motionless on the floor for a long time; comfortable at the sound of nicks heavy, steady breathing. it was still early.

if it weren't for nicks support the previous night, violet may not have slept at all that night. none the less, she still only got a few hours.

she knew she'd have to face finn soon, and she was scared. scared of how easy it was to push her frail body around; how emotionless his eyes gleamed moments before he did so. she'd never quite recover from the first time she had experienced his outbreaks.

but soon she'd grow used to them.

quietly, she sneaks out of nicks room and trails through the silent house. creaking open the door of the room she was the most used to.

she glances around in the lack of light; the sun covered in storm clouds and rain. thunder rumbles lightly.

finns bed sits empty, his couch as well. he wasn't in sight, but she could feel his presence.

she walks over a mess of clothes to his bathroom, where he laid across the cold tiled floor near the toilet.

she nudged his body with her foot; knowing that he had always been a light sleeper.

finn groans, rubbing his face with his hands before squinting up at the girl.

"shit, violet. im sorry." he mumbles. the first thing to escape his raspy voice was an apology.

"rough night?" she stared down at him.

he nods in answer, groaning once more.

"yeah, me too." violet holds out her hand, waiting for him to take it to help himself up.

he slowly makes it up, his free hand grabbing his head in attempts to make the room stop spinning. violet walks him back to his bed, he sits on the edge rubbing his eyes.
"violet, last night-"

"we can talk once your hangover calms down."

"i want to talk about it now." his voice cracks in sleep, looking over at the girl that uncomfortably sat next to him. he hated making her feel that way.

"go on then." she stares to the ground.

"i have, a problem. and i guess i should have told you sooner. its just- nobody ever looks at me the same once i tell them and, i didn't want that with you."

"so you thought pushing me around wouldn't make me look at you differently?"

"i didnt mean to hurt you- i didnt hurt you, did i?"

violets head shakes,
"just scared me."

finns face runs soft, so undeniably guilty.
"im sorry vi."

"what is it then? your problem."

"sometimes, i just get so mad without thinking. really, without reason. i've been good with controlling it when i'm constantly thinking about it. a little anxiety here and there but nothing dangerous. but last night when i started drinking, i don't know, i guess i stopped thinking."

"so what, you're bipolar?" she tries to piece together.

"no" he sighs,
"just- i get mad easily. i'm trying violet. really, i am. i never want to hurt you, and i'm sorry that you got scared. that wasn't me. i'm getting better, i promise; for you. so that i don't hurt you."

"why are you keeping me around if you know you're going to hurt me?" she stares to him.

"because i'm falling in love with you, vi." finally, he admits.
"and i'm going to make this work. i'm not going to ruin you like i did my last relationship. i don't want to do that to you."