j_gabrielle (ao3)
Zhao Yunlan's not even his boyfriend.
Not that anyone would know.
----
Zhao Yunlan's not even his boyfriend.
Not that anyone would know.
He has lost count of the number of people who'd asked if they were, and then the equal amount of times he wished he could've said yes. And now, watching him dance with a pretty girl under the strobe lights, he wishes with futile want that he would've said no the times they'd kissed.
Or the other times they'd touched.
Shen Wei burns with jealousy when the girl puckers her lips, guiding Yunlan's hand to her waist.
It is irrational to feel this way. At best, on their good days they're friends with benefits; the kind that has toothbrushes and a drawer of clothes at each other's places, spend more nights cuddling than sex. At worst, it's complicated; Shen Wei constantly not knowing where he should stand with Yunlan, and picking up a collection of unintentional hurts from the way he smiles at anyone but him.
"I'm going." He shouts over the music, dropping some money for his juice. Da Qing nods, eyes sympathetic while he leans up against his boytoy du jour, Lin Jing. "Make sure he gets home safe?"
"Text me when you get home."
"Yeah." Shen Wei waves, sliding out of his chair.
The night trains are still running at this hour. He huddles into himself. He is halfway to the nearest station, absently cursing his forgetfulness for not bringing a coat, when he hears familiar footfalls.
"Hey! You weren't gonna say goodbye?" Yunlan pants when he catches up. Under the faded streetlights, the streaks of glitter and sweat on his cheek makes Shen Wei's thumb itch to wipe it off.
"It's getting late." He shrugs, "And I have to get up early tomorrow for a meeting."
Yunlan doesn't let him leave that easily. Falling into step with him, he says, "Let me walk you to the station."
He shakes his head. "It's okay." He takes a step back from Yunlan's touch. "You should head back."
Yunlan grounds his jaw. "Why are you like this?"
"I'm not--"
"Xiao Wei, you're a terrible liar." Yunlan interjects, "And I know all your tells. So, what's wrong. You've been distant with me all week."
Taking a longer step back, Shen Wei's mouth twists and he has to look away. "What do you want me to say?"
"Did I do something wrong? If I did, tell me. I don't like it when I don't know what I did to upset you." Yunlan reaches for him, and Shen Wei doesn't fight him because a terrible, terrible truth starts to bubble in his chest. "Xiao Wei, just--"
"I love you." He says. The words hang in the air between them. He doesn't dare to turn to him. "I love you. And I think I have for some time now. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I do. Love you. And it is killing me that you don't love me too."
Shen Wei wrenches his hand out of Yunlan's grip. Eyesight blurring up with tears, he bites his bottom lip. "I'm sorry." He whispers, retreating back into the first two steps of a run that is broken in its' stride with Yunlan physically hauling him back against a wall.
Kissing him before he can catch a breath.
Oh, his mind supplies as he fists his hands in the front of Yunlan's denim vest, he tastes like us. Shen Wei responds eagerly on instinct. Not even second guessing kissing him back, nor the way Yunlan cradles him tenderly under the streetlamp. A car honks, and they pull away with a wet smack.
"Why do you always assume the worst?" Yunlan asks, gently wiping away the tears that had tracked their way down his cheeks. The corner of his lips twitched. "I do love you, you silly man. I'd hoped to say it at a more romantic setting, but I guess this will have to do. I love you, Xiao Wei." He happily cups him by the cheeks, squishing his face. "So, don't run from me because I'll chase you down and smother you with my love."
"Do you promise?" Shen Wei sniffs, muffled.
"I promise." Yunlan replies, leaning in for a quick peck. "Now, lets go home."
~
"Do you think they sorted it out?" Lin Jing asks, typing furiously on his mobile and not looking up as they step out of the club.
"If they didn't, they're even more of idiots than I initially thought." Da Qing scoffs, unwrapping a lollipop. "Is your roommate in tonight?"
"Xiao Guo? I think he has gone camping with Lao Chu."
"Great! Let's try out the sex swing in the corner of his room."
At that, Lin Jing pockets his mobile, hailing a cab.
