sarahyyy(ao3)
If Yunlan is going to learn how to make actual food that requires more effort than just boiling water and putting hot water into stuff, he's going to have to take all the notes.
"Right," he says to himself. "How hard can it be?"
He watches all twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds of Chef Shen's video without fast-forwarding. When it comes to an end, he clicks on the replay button.
He ends up taking zero notes, and the only thing he manages to learn from the whole exercise is that Chef Shen -Shen Wei- is really fucking beautiful when he smiles.
---
"Okay, I've closed the poll now," Lin Jing declares, "and the viewers have spoken. I now declare that our next video will feature..."
"Not the parkour, not the parkour, not the parkour," Guo Changcheng mutters under his breath.
"It's got to be Chu-ge doing ballet," Zhu Hong says.
"Ditto," Zhao Yunlan says. "I can't see why anyone would want to miss that."
"I've already put a threatening message up on Weibo telling everyone not to vote for that, or else," Chu Shuzhi says dismissively. "It's going to be the parkour."
"It's not," Lin Jing says, patting Changcheng on his arm assuringly. "It did come very close, though. You were only 0.3% away from winning the poll."
"Thank you, Buddha," Changcheng says, slumping back on the couch, tension leaving his body. "I would've probably died doing the challenge. Or at least broken a few bones."
"So what is it?" Chu Shuzhi asks.
"Why are you guys even guessing?" Da Qing asks, rolling his eyes. "After that whole fiasco with Lao Zhao posting that five-second video of himself half-naked in the kitchen, it's got to be him. The fans are clearly very easy to please."
"Bingo!" Lin Jing crows, and Yunlan preens.
"Really? Out of all the options, they want to see Zhao Yunlan cooking the most?" Chu asks. "That's the most boring option."
"The activity can be boring," Yunlan says wisely, "if the star of the show isn't."
—
Da Qing dumps his laptop onto Yunlan's bed rather unceremoniously. "Here," he says. "Watch this video and learn how to make ramen."
"I know how to make ramen," Yunlan says, shooting Da Qing a dirty look. "It's the thing I can cook the best."
"You can't cook anything else," Da Qing reminds him.
"Which makes ramen the thing I can cook the best," Yunlan tells him. "That's my point exactly!"
Da Qing sighs. He honestly feels he's too old to have to deal with Zhao Yunlan on a daily basis. "Just. Watch the video," he says. "You're not making cup noodles, for fuck's sake. You're making ramen. From scratch."
Yunlan makes a face. "But why?"
"It's for the video," Da Qing grits out. "Just do it. No more questions. I've already found you the easiest instructional video."
Yunlan glimpses down at the screen.
"TLGK's Chef Shen does Ramen" the caption declares. Admittedly, the ramen in the thumbnail on the video looks positively delicious, but Jesus, even making oatmeal is sort of a hit-and-miss thing for Yunlan, how does the crew think he can manage making ramen from scratch?
