Catharsis ; Zadison

xi

A/N: Trigger warning below, so please proceed with caution, thank you.

The next few weeks flew by in a blur, and she had never felt more empty in her life. She stopped going to school entirely, because she didn't have the energy to keep up the false facade she had been fooling everyone with for months anymore. Her father never called, and her friends never dropped in to see how she was doing after her 'accident', and she wasn't surprised in the slightest. Her mother was being as supportive as she would allow her, but even her patience was wearing thin with her daughter, and she gave up after a while. None of those people leaving her was surprising, but what WAS surprising was the sudden disappearance of the brunette from her life. After her miscarriage, it was like they were never friends in the first place, and that hurt far worse than the emotional baggage that came with losing your first child. She needed her most right now, and she had just.. left. she wanted to be angry, hell, she even wanted to cry about the loss of the girl she loved, but she laid curled up in her bed and did nothing about it, further driving the wedge into their once strong relationship. She could easily say that she was depressed, but she knew no one would believe her. Being empty and having clinical depression were two very different things, and she desperately wished that it was merely depression. At least she would feel something then, even if it was negative. She only forced herself up from the safety of her bed to go to the bathroom, and then she would go right back to lying on the bed, praying for any emotion to seep through, anything. She wanted to do something to make herself feel, so she resorted to cutting, which did nothing but stain her comforter with blood droplets that had escaped from the wounds before she could clean them. She then turned to alcohol, which only made her more empty than she was before she consumed the bitter beverage. She did everything possible to make herself feel, but she was unsuccessful everytime, and after a while, she gave up just like everyone else did. So she began an escape, planned to start over in a city that no one knew her in, and making a better life for herself than she had in this shithole, but she knew it wouldn't be easy for her. She was 17 and had no safety net to fall back on when she arrived in the town of choice, so she began to look if she had family members that lived in places far away from Brooke Valley, and to her fortune, she had an aunt that lived in good ol' Portland, Oregon, which was far away enough that no one from this place would ever find her. She messaged said aunt, who was named Caroline from her Facebook profile, and made up a sob story and that she needed a new place to live. She knew that the woman hated her mother, which would make her escape even more solid, and to her surprise, she agreed and offered to pay for her way there by bus, which she graciously accepted. The sun was beginning to set and she began to pack her suitcases with her whole wardrobe, already setting her plan into motion. She knew her mother was away, probably somewhere huddled up with her father in a 5 star hotel, which made this escape plan become easier and easier for her. The only thing setting her back was the simple fact that she didn't have a ride to the bus station, and she knew of no one that could take her without her running away being too obvious. She scrolled through her messages and hovered over the unnamed contact, taking one big deep breath before she pressed the call and held the smartphone up to her ear.

"Hello?" The sleepy voice said from the other end of the line and she thanked whatever god there was that they had answered her instead of declining the call.

"Hey um, I know it's getting late but I need a favor. I need someone to take me to the bus station and I don't trust anyone else to get me there without snitching on me. I know we've had our differences but can you just, pick me up please? I'll pay you if that's what you want, I just gotta get out of here, for good." She released another breath and prayed that they would pull through, and to her utter relief, they agreed and promised to be at her house in 5 minutes at least. She finished packing up the rest of her belongings and hesitated on one of the Polaroids that hung up on her wall. It was taken at the bonfire, which seemed a lifetime ago now that she thought about it, and she looked happier and more carefree than she had ever remembered previously. She wanted to take the picture, she really really did, but she just picked up her suitcases and carted them downstairs, not even bothering to look back behind her. Opening the door was a struggle, but she managed, and with impeccable timing too, as the car pulled up on the curb and the driver patiently waited for her to load her things into the back of their range rover and climb into the passenger seat before driving slowly down the road and out of the neighborhood she had loved so much before.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She said from the driver seat, and she just shook her head as the scenery passed by her in a whiz, distracting her temporarily from her tumultuous thoughts, which surely would have been the death of her had she remained in that house a day longer.

"I got outed as a lesbian at my dad's promotion party." She heard her say quietly and she turned to give the reformed mean girl a long and hard look.

"Okay." She said in response, her eyes fixated through the stars that were gleaming through the windshield of the expensive car she found herself in. They were getting closer and closer to the bus station now, which made relief wash over her frail body. She had finally felt something, and she knew that she was making the right choice for herself. When she pulled up to the front doors, they sat in the car for a few minutes together, not speaking, when she looked over at her and grimaced.

"I had a miscarriage." She whispered, her eyes going to her feet, and she heard the girl across the console take a sharp intake of breath. She didn't want pity for what had happened to her, and she hoped that she knew that without actually having to pathetically admit it, but she seemed to get the memo and she nodded once.

"Okay." Was all she said as the blonde carefully climbed out of the car and grabbed her suitcases, which had somehow became heavier on the relatively short ride here. She paused at the rolled down window and gave her a weak smile.

"Thank you Carmen, I hope things become better for you." Her words were genuine and she saw the shorter girl smile at her words. She reached behind her neck and unclasped the locket she had around her neck from the moment she had first had a showdown with her. She reached across the console and handed it out the window, holding on until she was sure the blonde had it safely in her grasp and she gave her one more nod before she put the car into park and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving her standing alone in the nearly desolate parking lot. She looked out into the endless darkness that surrounded her on all sides, and she finally felt as if she could breathe again. She smiled out into the darkness once more, and she turned to grab her suitcases and walk into the small bus station, straight into the unknown, which was more than okay for her.

A/N: So that's it guys, the ending of Catharsis :( But don't worry, because the epilogue should be here within a few days so please look out for that! Thank you for all of the continued support, I appreciate it more than any of you will ever know. Hope you all are well, and I'll hopefully see you in the epilogue :)

-Jaime

B O N U S; 

I should probably explain why Carmen was the one to take her to the bus station as opposed to Kyle or Mallory or someone else like that taking her. Madison wanted a valid reason to leave Brooke Valley, and she knew that if Zoe or anyone of her old friends had been the one to assist her, she knew she would have stayed, and her emptiness would have become progressively worse as time wore on. Also because even though they were once enemies, she feels like she has something in common with her, and that she wouldn't ask questions and pretend to care when she knew that she couldn't care less. The main reason was to not be tricked into staying in a place that had brought her more misery than it had good, but the factor of her relating with the former bully is also a relatively big reason too. hope that clears up any confusion y'all may have about it!