Save Me Before I Fall

B is below average

I have a B+ in AP Calculus AB. My parents started freaking out and got me a tutor. I don't get why they are wasting money when I can get free tutoring at school. Apparently, anything below an A means I need help, more like I need sleep. My parents think I'm procrastinating, causing me to sleep really late, but I'm actually an insomniac. I tried telling them, but they brushed it off as a self-misdiagnosis. I'm always exhausted nowadays. I can't stay awake in class. I wonder why I'm "failing" math? (Note the sarcasm.)

Marching band is taking up so much of my time, but I "need" it for college applications. I play the tuba, so I'm surrounded by guys all the time. High school boys are so insensitive and horny. Seriously, I can't do anything without a rude or inappropriate comment being made. FML

My mom made me go on a diet. All I've been eating chicken breast and salad. I want carbs! My body is killing me. I'm always hungry. I need nourishment, but I'm too fat to eat anything else. I might as well stop eating altogether.

Guess what? My English grade dropped below an A due to my Junior Research Paper. FML. I just want to give up. I don't get why my grades matter so much. Teachers and counselors are always saying that our grades don't define our future, yet they also say that we need good grades to get into a good college, so we can have a good future.

What is a "good future"? Does it mean I'm happy or does it mean I'm rich? To my parents money equals happiness. I think happiness is when you enjoy what you do. Then again, when does it matter what I think.

A/N: Xerxes by John Mackey is my favorite piece to a play and listen to because of how low brass heavy it is. It also expresses my inner turmoil quite well. Shout to all the female tuba players out there! Prove everyone that anyone can play that giant hunk of brass. (Anyone get back problems from playing tuba or sousaphone? I definitely do. Got any tips to relieve the pain?)