Shawn Mendes Imagines

Lacuna

Lacuna (n.) –
An unfilled space; a gap

Summary:
Pray to god that you never experience such type of a void, the realisation of losing someone which doesn't sink it, and when it does you drown with it.

-

Shawn's POV

"NO, STOP PLEASE AAH!" She chokes out through her laughs. Her legs thrash in all directions trying to get me to stop tickling her. When I finally stopped she spoke up

"You... are too much... to handle sometimes" she said while sitting up on the couch.

"You know you still love me." I said smiling brightly.

"Mmmhh I don't know..." She says, pretending to be contemplating the fate of the universe.

I make a beeline for her stomach, her weak spot, and she gasps breathlessly
"Shawn..." she managed to say
"Wait...!"

"Say it" I said getting closer to her.
"No!"
"Say it!" I said as I tickled her harder
"NO"
"Say it!"
"I love youu" She said and I stop immediately.

She gets up, sits on my lap sideways and says "I love you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes". I pull her in for a kiss when my alarm starts ringing.

Wait what?

My body shoots forward as I desperately reach for her body next to mine. Panic sets in deep when I realise she isn't there. And with that panic comes the terrible reality check that she isn't there. That she won't ever be there again.

It takes me a good 5 minutes before I am able to normalise my breaths. I sit on my bed and put my head in my hands.

Why her?

I brush my teeth and go downstairs to the kitchen to ear. Up till last month I would be welcomed to the angelic sound of her humming and the sweet smell of food. No more. I manage to make a poor recreation of her scrambled eggs. She would always tease for not even knowing how to make eggs. I miss her. Her laugh, her smile, her hair, the way she could always make me smile, everything.

But the thing I miss the most... being able to tell her how much I love her.

I decide to play something on my guitar in hopes it would make me feel better. I start playing 'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran, when a memory flashes before me.

So you can keep me

Inside the necklace you got

When you were sixteen

Next to your heartbeat

Where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

Wait for me to come home

The crowd breaks into applause and she squeezes her way through the throngs of people.

"That was amazing Shawn!" Y/n said and hugged me. I think it was the right time to finally give her the gift.

"Happy Sweet 16" I said as I handed her the gift.

She has a puzzled look on her tanned face and she begins to remove the blue ribbon on top. As she unwrapped it the excitement grew on her face. And I knew she liked it when I saw the look on her face.

"Oh my gosh, this is soo cute!!" She squealed as she took the pendant out.
"Open it"
She did as I said and let out a long 'awww' before hugging me tightly again. It was a picture of me and her when we were at my 16th birthday party. I was spinning her around as we danced to 'Miss Movin On' and Aaliyah  took the perfect shot.

I decide to quote the lyrics and said "Now I'll be next to your heartbeat where I should be"

~end of flashback~

I totally forgot about that. It was her sweet sixteen when I gave her that pendant and she used to wear it every day when one day she thought she almost lost it. She only wore it on special occasions after that.

I smiled at the memory of her losing her mind when she 'almost' lost it. I was just thinking about which song to play when I decide on 'Fallin all in you'. It was her favourite song. I got the line she loved the most.

Every time I see you baby I get lost

If I'm dreaming baby please don't wake me up

As I said those words I could swear I felt her hand on mine. I knew that was impossible. I looked to around.. no one... Maybe it was just my mind making up these things. Maybe not. Whether it was real or not I felt better, and continued to play a few of her favourites.

Each time I got to her favourite lines I would feel as if she was right her in the room with me. I was so deep in this I didn't even notice Aaliyah walk in. I was completely lost in thinking about Y/n when she snapped me out of my daydream.

"Shawn...? Shawn!"

"Um wha– sorry what?"

"Who are you singing for?" She questions.

"Y/n she's right here" I said tilting my head to the side.

"Shawn I know you miss her but–" I cut her off

"She's right here." I said still looking to my side.
"Right by my side" I whispered.

Because even though deep down I knew it was just my brain trying to make it easier, I needed the comfort of the illusion that my best friend, my most prized possession, the girl that I fell in love with the second I laid eyes on her, was still with me.

***

I tried a sad one... lemme know how it was.
918 words