"Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . .
It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again.
The absence of hope.
That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad.
Sad hurts but it's a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel.
Depression is very different."
― J.K. Rowling
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You don't love him.
Nor do you still hate him.
However, your thoughts could only trace back to one word whenever you would think of his wrongdoing to you.
Why?
Why did he have to break you apart like that? Why did he have to nip at your insecurities? Why did he degrade your existence so much that you've lost all hopes and dreams? Why did he have to make you hate yourself much to the point where you didn't want to breathe anymore? Why couldn't he tell you that he couldn't go on anymore instead of doing what he did?
Why did he slam the door in your face after you were crying and pleading for him not to leave you?
Why?
"So how was Therapy?" Jisoo asked.
Instantly she got ignored, Your body completely froze as you started to think about your ex. You had so many questions to ask him now that he actually gave you time for yourself. It has been well over 10 months since you've last seen him. At this moment of time. You wanted to move on.
Not only for your mental sake but for your body too.
You were all skin and bone - couldn't even bear to look at yourself. At one point in your life, you completely forgot how you looked like. All because all the love and life were drained out of you letting yourself remain with nothing.
Blankly staring forward, you sat on your bed and stared out the window, small metal bars interrupting your view of the plain blue sky. You wished to see him again - at least just once more. So you can forgive him.
