•T H I R T Y

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*sorry 💀 don't hate me.

"You what?"You squeak out

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"You what?"You squeak out.






"I love you,"




The world remains frozen as you still look at him wide-eyed, hoping that this was your mind playing tricks on you. You shake your head.






I love you








Trying your hardest to shake the words out of your head.








"Y/N?"






"No," You breath, "You can't love me."




Just like that, Yoongi's heart broke into two before freezing over to stone. He'd always had a soft spot for you. Always separating his anger from you - to avoid the hurt. But now he was the one who was hurt. It flashed before him as he frowned.







"Why not?"He snapped.







You wince at his tone, stopping the secure eye contact that was withheld between the two of you before staring the almost empty plate in front of you.








In your head, you were unloveable.






Too broken to be loved. You were just a bundle of depression and anxiety- nobody could ever tell you otherwise. Your insecurities will always haunt you. Your scars on your thighs were unseen to him but that was one of the many things that layed heavy in your mind.







Honestly, You were so ashamed of them.






You feared that he would be ashamed of them too. You wanted-



No.






He needed him to love someone he'll always be proud to have. And you know for a fact that - that person isn't you.







"I'm not for you, "You say, tears welling in your eyes, " I'm unloveable."








"Do you think this is all some kind of sick game?"Yoongi snorts, anger, and irritation started to flow within his veins as he waited.







You sniff, "I didn't say that,"







"You're implying it Y/N," He says, gradually raising his voice, "You purposefully just called my love for you a lie."







Tears finally prickle down your face as Yoongi hastily stands up to his feet. Prepared to leave you here all alone.








"No!"You cry, "Yoongi please!"







"I will not sit here and pretend like everything is fine." Yoongi grits.








Your heart rate accelerates. It was almost as if the Yoongi you first met came to the surface. Whilst the gentle Yoongi was gone. His eyes turn a dark harsh color as he glared at you. Your breath hitched in your throat as your anxiety levels begin to rise.






"Why do I even bother with you?"




Your heart sinks.







"What?"You whimper, "What's that supposed to mean?"





He was seeing red. Anger already overflowing. The words tumbled from his lips and he had failed to keep them to himself. The quiet voice in his head was whispering to him to stop but the dominant angry tone overtook it.






Yoongi was going to regret everything he's about to say - but nothing stopped him as fury and irritation filled him from within







"I always walk around on eggshells around you!"He shouts, "When are you going to stop being so selfish and actually consider how other people are feeling?"









Your breath halts, "I-I,"








"Everything has to always be about you!"Yoongi snaps, "I try to be nice around you only so you don't take everything to heart and hurt yourself."









"You don't even realize that I'm changing myself for you!"







Pain. That's all you felt in your chest as you began to choke on your tears. You so badly wanted him to stop. To explain why you couldn't accept his love. It felt as if someone physically put their hand into your chest- grabbed your heart, and squeezed it dry.






Milking the life out of it so it could gain the pale color of lifelessness.






Anybody can hurt you - especially when you're this stable. But please not Yoongi.






Please not Yoongi.





"I'm sick and tired of everything."He whispers.







"No no, "You cry, "Yoongi please."










"Just like how I am sick and tired of you."







He's quick to turn on his heels and turn back around. Aiming his body for the door and he instantly storms off. Leaving you as a crying mess.









The shock takes over you as your body sinks to the floor. You flat on the blanket and you begin to stare at the candles and the fairy lights. It wasn't Yoongi loving you that scared you.








It was the familiar feeling that you felt within you that did. No matter how much you wanted to just forget about your past. It was still haunting you - but this time more than ever.









Last time you'd felt like this. You were degraded for being who you are. The same man who claimed to love you - Didn't hesitate to leave you.








Yes, it was his fault but you still blamed yourself for everything.








Maybe if you did everything better. He wouldn't have left you.









And you were so scared.







That you weren't enough for Yoongi. How long will his love last for you? How long will it take for him to notice that you are not everything he had hoped for? Yoongi was everything you needed but just what if.








What you're not enough?






"I am sorry," You cry.






Alone on the rooftop.







"I, "You whimper, "I-"






But the words never had the chance to be said. The pain in your chest was unbearable and the cold breeze began to blow over your face lightly. You take off your glasses. Stopping the discomfort as you try and wipe your face- but more tears fall down. Your small frame shaking and the heartbreaking sobs leave your trembling lips.







"I love you so much, "You whispered.







"You just deserve better,"

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