Randomness [2]

passion/hobby now = stress/exhaustion??

I swore to myself that I wouldn't give up on Be My Liar, but I still seem to be having trouble posting regularly.

When I first went into this story, I posted at random times for perhaps the first five parts. Then I announced that I was going to post with a schedule. I wanted to be an amazing author who could say that they never missed a posting day, but...eh.
You see, I was doing fine until the first trial came up. I didn't know whether or not to actually write it, and I decided to write it anyway (which is why I can't just now write the class trials now). Surprisingly, I'm fairly sure that I had it done on time (but I did have a bunch of other chapters ready to be posted before that, so I guess you could say that I had extra time).

Once, in an alternate universe far, far away, I had thought that BML would be done by now. Did you hear me? Done. Completed. All parts published.

.-.

If you read my story, you obviously know that I'm only writing in Chapter 4 in the cannon game right now. I will say that I didn't know that introducing the Virtual World was going to take up an entire chapter by itself, and I did change the ending which might mess up with the timing of everything, but other than that, the only reasons for it to be completed later than expected comes from me and my problems. I took a break which was like...a month long, which was probably too long, and two/three weeks I was late in updating.

You all might wonder, "Hey Cookiestar, why tf are you so late with thing sometimes?"

If it's just later in the day and not in some random hour in the morning then you can just chalk it up to me waking up later for various reasons. If I'm an entire week or more late then...oh dear.
-Sometimes, once I'm done with a long chapter, I guess I feel exhausted because once that's done, I really don't feel as much in the mood to write the next chapter as I usually am.
-School. Homework can take me a long time to complete. I don't think you all know this but I take advanced classes, so I'm learning ahead of my normal grade. That being said, we have harder work. More homework than others. My math and science teacher is pretty nice and humorous, but she basically never gives us a weekend without any homework. (There's also extra curricular, but that's pretty self-explanatory).
-Other things involving the actual content of my story. Investigation/trial chapters... If I haven't made this freaking clear to you guys already then I don't know how to get this through to you all. But lemme just say, I HATE THESE CHAPTERS SO MUCH. They take so much back and forth to get the right story information, and they are soooo long! I'm trying to write ch.4's class trial, but it's been a little over a month since the last time I wrote a class trial, and it feels like I completely forgot when to add in a time cut, etc.. Not to mention that I also need to work on Christmas specials. I know that I should work on them earlier because from past experience (ahem, Halloween), if I wait too long then they come out too late. I don't want that to happen. I want to have a special in BML, but for my own fun, I also wanted to try my hand in writing a fluffy Saiouma oneshot. So alongside both specials, I still need to work on the canon in my story.

(Perhaps I can also delve into my growing feeling of me just getting worse at writing... Actually, I can get to that later, in some different chapter. Or maybe never.)

Anyway, MOST IMPORTANT TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ BML, I truly, sincerely apologize if I can't upload the new chapter this week. In order to hopefully get the timing right, I still need to have around 2000 more words in the draft I have right now. I really do try to produce chapters for your all's enjoyment that actually comes out on time, but I guess it isn't enough.

Some of you might be thinking, "Well, if you're that worried about it, then why aren't you working on BML right now instead of writing this long post?" Good question, really. I was writing this to be an apology just in case I couldn't get the chapter out today, but then it got longer...I guess.

Is this a vent? Eh, maybe? Some could consider it like that, some not. Either way is fine. There are worse people out there who vent. People with depression, anxiety, etc. vent, while I'm just over here complaining about the work I cast down upon myself and can literally stop it at anytime that I wanted. Not like I probably will, though.

Anyway, that's it for now. If I think of anything else then I'll just update this chapter or maybe, there will just be an entirely different chapter that gets posted.

There really isn't a way to prevent people from commenting on your stories, so I'll just do the most that I can in this situation. There are people who are too kind for their own good that follow me, and they comment supporting stuff and all. To you people, don't pity me. Just don't. You can comment anything else but pity.

(Sorry if there are any really bad spelling mistakes. It's 1:10 in the morning so I'm obviously not gonna reread anything right now, and I surely wouldn't do much of a good job anyway.)