"It was always Cinderella, Cinderella." The princess grabbed the bottle of Tequila as she complained.
"You think that's bad? My stepmother paid a guy to cut out my heart." Snow White said grabbing the bottle from Cindy's hand and taking a swig. "Then I had to live with seven dwarves."
Cinderella scrunched her nose. "Were they grabby?"
Snow shook her head. "They weren't grabby as much as they were smelly."
Cindy laughed. It was nice to have a girl to talk to. She only met Snow that day, but they quickly bonded over having step-monsters. She was skeptical when her husband, Prince Charming, wanted to visit his best mate from school, The Prince. But after meeting Snow she was happy that they went.
"Well, my stepmother locked me in an attic, so that Charming would never find me." Cindy grabbed the tequila and took another swig.
"My stepmother pretended to be an old hag and gave me a poison apple."
Cinderella stopped pacing and faced Snow. "Ewww." She said. "Why would you eat a hag apple?"
Snow shrugged. "It looked delicious." She said.
"I wish someone would give my Stepmother a poison apple!" Cindy said.
Snow bit her lip. "What would you say if I told you that I knew someone who could make a poison apple."
"She would never take it from me. I would like to shove it down that witch's throat."
"Would she take it from me?" Snow asked.
"What are you saying?" Cindy narrowed her eyes.
"I'll poison your stepmother, and nobody will even suspect that it was me. Meanwhile, you give my stepmom a poison apple and we're both in the clear." Snow was practically jumping up and down with enthusiasm for the plan.
"This may work." Cinderella agreed. The girls made plans to meet after their husbands went to sleep so they could pick apples.
The house in the middle of the woods was made of candy and confections. Cinderella reached out to break a gooey marshmallow from the marshmallow tree. Snow slapped her hand. "The witch doesn't take kindly to people eating her house!"
"Oh," Cindy exclaimed, "I never thought of it that way."
The witch walked stiffly but invited the girls in. "Let me do the talking." Snow whispered.
"A poison apple, I can make." The witch said, "but it will cost you." Snow bit her lip.
"What do you want?" Snow asked.
"A lock of hair from each of you."
Snow pulled a small pouch from her pocket. "Here you go. The blonde piece belongs to Cindy and the dark one is mine."
"Very well." The witch said. "Stay here while I make your apples."
"When did you take my hair, and how did you know she'd want it?" Cinderella whispered to Snow when the witch was out of earshot.
Snow smiled. "To a witch, a princess' hair is beyond valuable. They can use it to make all kinds of spells. So, I knew she'd be requiring some; however, I'm not about to hand a witch something so valuable." She smiled devilishly. "So, I got two of my servants to provide me with some of theirs."
"You're some kind of evil genius." Cinderella complemented.
"You don't have stepmothers like ours without picking up some things." Snow winked.
The Next Day
"Dare." The prince said.
"Hmmm." Cinderella put a finger to her mouth in concentration. "I dare you to switch palaces with us for a week."
"I beg your pardon?" The two friends said.
"Oh, that sounds fun. Prince Charming and Cindy live in our castle for a week and we'll live in theirs."
"I don't know." The Prince said.
"You have to." Cinderella admonished. "You picked dare."
One week later
"Oh Cindy, it's awful." Snow said rushing through the courtyard and hugging her friend after a week of living away. "I hate to tell you, but your stepmother and sisters are all dead."
"What?" Cinderella asked bewildered.
"She used the apple to make a pie." Snow whispered.
"Oh Snow, I'm afraid I have horrible news for you as well," Cinderella said to her smiling friend.
"Your stepmother died as well."
"Oh no!" Snow White said covering her mouth with both hands. The Prince rushed to his wife and gave her a big hug, only Cinderella knew that she was hiding her smile.
"I wish we could stay longer." Cindy said as they prepared to leave, "But I must attend the funeral."
"I can't thank you enough for your friendship." Snow cried as they departed.
Both girls went to the funerals in their hometowns and nobody was the wiser. But the girls made a fatal flaw in their plan. They tried to trick a witch.
"What is that banging at this time of the night?" Prince Charming said whipping open the front door. Cinderella pushed her robe closer together as the cold night wind blew through the house.
"It can't be you." She heard her husband say. "You're dead!" He barely said the words before one of Cinderella's stepsisters jumped on him and began to eat his brain. Cinderella yelled and started to run up the stairs.
"Silly child." Lady Tremaine said slowly following. "Always going up the steps when she should be going out the door.
"I'll get it." Snow called to her husband. She was still wearing a smile on her face from the earlier festivities. Well, some would call it a funeral. She couldn't believe that she got her Evil Stepmother out of her life for good.
She was a little happy and a little tipsy when she opened the door. The blood drained from her face when she saw the woman standing on the other side. "No, I killed you!"
"You did." The evil queen said. "You can call me the living dead."
"Zombie?" Snow didn't even get the word out fully before the Evil Queen attacked.
She once paid a man to cut Snow's heart out but tonight she feasted on the girl's brain.
