If you're not the one

Prologue

I met him when I was nine years old. Standing beside the priest, I knew he was an altar boy. Not certain what the date was when I met him but I still remembered the day where I can I say it was love at first sight. It was one sided but I could not say that I fell in love because I knew nothing of him. None. I just loved the way his eyes sparkled when he stood at the altar. Call it corny but when I was nine years old I was a big fan of a girl meeting her Prince Charming.

I adored how he would sacrifice his time just to serve God. I am not that religious but I have lots of faith in God. That was the last time I saw him. I knew that I would never see him since he stopped serving but I was wrong. A year had passed a new church was built near my apartment. I was surprise to see him serving once more. From there I started to go for the noon slot of mass since that is when he served.

After two years I was now at the state of my holidays, I had graduated elementary school. All I had to do was wait for the result of whether I was chosen for the school that I had chosen as my first choice for my high school.

I would frequently see him. Whether in the bus, at the mall or at the grocery centre. I would always have my heart beat in an abnormal way. It beats way too fast whenever I see him.

How can you fall for a guy you barely talk to?

That's just a complete bull.

But yet I love him.

Through my first year. We even tried talking to each other. Sure we would steal a glance of each other but I wish it was more than that.

That lead to a perspective that maybe I have a chance but I was wrong.

Hah. Perfect. Just fvcking perfect.

I had my heart broken for the very first time. I want to hate him but, why should I? He has not done any wrong to me.

Rumor were spread around that he was a play boy. He is not the type of guy you should fall in love with. That gave me a reason to hate him but why should I listen to rumors that may not even be through.

So I let it slide and continued falling. I was helplessly in love with him.

You can't blame me. I did not fall. My heart did. His dedication to serve God got the best of me.

But I knew that sooner or later i will stop with my bullsh*t of a feeling for him.

I hope.

A year later I had most of my free period with him. I was ecstatic because I would be able to look at him adoringly. Hah. Puhlease. Like I am that type of girl to do that. No offense.

When I had the same free period with him I would also try to grasp his attention but most of the time I would fail and he would get irritated.

Stupid of a plan to be friends with him is it not?

March 12, came around and the day was the best day of my life. It was

my birthday and He talked to me for the very first time in school.

Thrilling much? Hahaha I was happy. Very happy.

The second time I talked to him was when I asked about his match the day before.

It was amazing yet saddening because I had chicken out on continuing to talk him.

I love him but I wish he could see that too and say he does too.

Months had past and my feelings for him started to fade away. It was hard letting him go. I have loved for four years. Hoping maybe I would get a chance in those couple of years. Heck I even cried before letting him go. That was so dramatic of me was it not?

So I simply started giving up.

What for should I continue?

During summer I had completely stop loving him, I was happy. Who would not be?

Until he said a sudden goodbye when he was about to leave. I was at a table with my house hold leader which whom I would like to call my sister as well. I am in the Youth for Christ community by the way.

We were not even close I had no idea why he even did that. Hah. For me to fall for him again? Not going to happen play boy. Never going to happen.

I was wrong. I did fall for him once again. What is wrong with me. After summer. Whenever I would see him in the hallways he would do the same thing say hello and say goodbye. I would always feel a thrill in my heart. That is just from my stupidity. That continued for a week but after that. He stopped. That is a complete bull.

And that my fellow audience is how I knew he was just leading me on. Knowing that I had feelings for him. He was bored and so he played with it. Bull to the shit.

We started to avoid each other in all fact he started it. Whenever I would go to his direction when I needed to go some where. He would look at me and turn the other direction. That hurt like crap. Seeing some one you love avoiding you.

Then he would always bring this girl with him whether in the hallways and even outside of the guys toilet.

Seeing someone you love, loving someone else. Hurts more. Like you have been slaughtered alive.

And so showed him that I stopped caring because I have always showed the care that I had for him.

It was hard.

Not long after it was like both of us never existed in each other's lives. He had a life I had mine.