In Case You Didn't Know

Cold Feet

I got married on a Thursday. You were against the whole thing but when I ask you to be a groomsman, you obliged. You looked amazing all dressed up. And you ran around doing errands for me while I got ready. You had to go find 2 single roses for the bride and grooms' mothers. You went all over town.

Then when you got to the church, I was doing my make up. I get a urgent text from you telling you to come to you. I told you that I was decent and you to come in. But you insisted. So when I walked in the room, you were holding a fan blade broken off from the ceiling fan. We caught each other gaze and started laughing. Like of course this would happen.

The food that was ordered was not even made. The in law gifts had never been picked up and we 45 minutes away in a different town at a shopping mall. The preacher was late.

I guess I should've taken it as a sign. But you told me you were going to go up the street and get a new fan blade before the wedding.

Before I walked out of the room, you looked at me so earnestly and said, "Lily, Are you sure you want to do this? Will it make you happy?"
I hesitated but said "Yes, Jared, it will."
Because what was I supposed to say? No, I dont love him; I love you. Was I supposed to tell you to run away with me?  I couldn't find those words.
You had disbelief in your eyes but accepted my answer.

30 minutes later, you came back and fixed the fan blade. We were an hour out from the wedding. I was ready and about to do photos. When I opened the door, there you stood getting ready to knock. You were all fixed up.

You looked me up and down and caught my eye, standing there speechless. Those blue eyes of yours were in awe. We just stood there without words for what seemed like forever. We just looked into each others' eyes.

At that moment, I wanted to run. I wanted to take you by the hand and start a life with you. And maybe I should have.