Que Será Será

She Played Tag By Spanking Me (2018-2019)

So, after I couldn't afford to go to my dream school, I decided to get a job and get stuff done. It was high time to grow credit and gain responsibility, and getting my first job was a good first step.

And so, I found a job (and future sanctuary) in SMASH (Salem Methodist After School House). I spent a couple of months working there. So, I started working in mid-September, and as I got accustomed to the caregivers, kids, and schedule alike, I got hit with another curve ball once December hit: Casey.

See, SMASH has caregivers that are high-schoolers, full-fledged adults, and college students. The full-fledged adults clock in at 1:30pm during the school year (which is when I started work), and the high-schoolers come in when they get off school, which is usually around 4-4:30pm. I was getting accustomed to this agenda when December arrives and the college kids come back. There were three. They were spending their holiday break getting extra money. Like me, they used to work there full-time. Once college came around, our boss kept the doors open for them. So, we had three caregivers return for the breaks. They were Savannah, Sydney, and Casey.

I kept my distance from all three. In the short months that I've worked there, I had some co-workers tell me that they hated me when I first started working there. I was too much too soon, but later on they realized how awesome I truly was and let me sit with the cool kids at lunch. So this time, I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. I let the college kids come to me, and I'd be polite if they chose to strike conversation. The first one that did so was Sydney. She led me and another caregiver down to Old SMASH, aka the basement, where they used to have the After-School-Care. The basement eventually flooded, so our boss designated SMASH upstairs. Both myself and the other caregiver hadn't been down there before, and coincidentally were the two newest caregivers, and Syd took it upon herself to give us the full SMASH tour. Looking at it in retrospect, I'm so glad she did.

So Sydney soon became one of the coolest people I'd ever meet. She was that kind of person that was very approachable and kind, as well as laid back and chill. Peel back a few layers, and she genuinely cares about you and is hurt when you hurt. I didn't realize this at first, but that's another story.

Then I met Savannah, and although I didn't have a tour of the old daycare with her, she was still nice. Granted, going in, I was told that she was the gossipy type, but I wanted to form my own opinion. After having a conversation with Savannah, I agreed.

Then, Casey approached me. I can't remember exactly what we talked about, but I do know that afterwards, as we were leaving, one of my co-workers I trusted came to me and said that Casey told them "I always fall for the guys with long hair." I double-checked the length of my hair, which was indubitably long, wavy and touching my shoulders. I was the only long-haired male caregiver, which narrows down Casey's vague statement to me. Although I knew so little about her, I didn't pursue her immediately. I liked the attention, sure, but I didn't want to fall in love with the idea of someone (see literally every story in this collection). So, I planned to get to know her before making judgement of whether or not to crush on her.

Chances are, you think I said yes, hence why I'm writing about her. The answer and reasoning, however, aren't that clear, and the answer isn't that easy to find. To make a story about x girl plus x scenario equaling sad Judson would be too easy. Life doesn't repeat itself, even if you enter the same room often, or feel something twice, like nostalgia. No matter how often you feel that, life is will never, ever, repeat. Take notes.

So, there actually wasn't as much talking and getting to know Casey as I had previously hoped. Instead, I'd reside on a bench outside watching the kids when she'd appear behind me and start running her fingers in my hair without me suspecting it, or giving her consent. You can call it "Hair Rape," but I'd prefer you not to.