Josh Dun Imagines

Stay with me and pretend the world doesn't exist

Summary: Where you are Josh's best friend but you want to be more and you finally get your chance as he feels self conscious.

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" I can't do it, I just I don't know I feel like I don't belong in this world. This is not me! ", his voice was low and drenched with emotion, mostly doubt. "No Josh, you will listen to me! That is not true! You belong there, you deserve this! You have worked so hard for everything and you deserve everything this has brought.", you moved your arm off of his shoulder and stood up. He looked a little puzzled, as if he thought you would leave; you would never. "Get up, I am going to distract you and show you how great you are. I swear to you with everything I have I won't stop until you believe me."

As soon as he sat in the passenger seat of your car he stared out of the window. It appeared as if he was chewing on the inside of his lips, you knew it was a sign of his anxiety. "So what do you want to eat, pizza? Burger? hmh?", you nudged him with your elbow trying to get his attention back on you. "Oh I...I don't know. You know what I like I mean...Pizza? Only if you want it."
"Pizza it is", you said back with a smile hoping he would smile back.

You sat on the little bench you sat on so many times. The one at the top of this little hill that is behind the old grocery store in your town. It was perfect for viewing the sunset, exactly what you were doing right now. You and Josh talked about aimless things until both of you had finished your food. " Do you remember the first time I got you up here? ", you asked, facing Josh again. You remembered it vividly, you had to basically drag him up there because he thought it would be too cold to go outside. That evening in 12th grade you were ready to tell him how you felt, to tell him you loved him. "Yeah, it was so cold", he interrupted your thoughts. "C'mon it wasn't that cold, anyway I think the sunset is just as beautiful as then", you stared straight ahead at the rest of the sun that was left. Casting a golden but also purple hue over the sky you felt a shiver run down your back. "Are you cold?", surprisingly there seemed to be a hint of concern in his voice instead of mock that you expected. "No, I just thought of a memorie...", you said shaking your head slightly. "Y/N....why do you still do this? You still hang out with me even if I'm only here every few months and..", he looked at the ground while playing with his fingers. "Josh", you sighed before continuing to speak. "I do this because, do you even remember? Last year of high school, on this exact bench, we made a promise we said that we would stay friends no matter what would happen after school. You did your thing, I did mine but I never wanted to forget you! Our friendship, you Josh, you mean so much to me that I never wanted to give it up. And I never, we never did. Both of us were and are busy but this was one thing that helped me through many hard times. Just knowing I could talk to you whenever and I always looked forward to seeing you again.", you took his hands into yours and brushed over his knuckles with your thumb. "I might have never told you directly but Josh you mean so much to me. You were always there for me, you were the support I needed but you also pushed me to be a better person. I swear to you, without having you Josh I would not be where I am right now and I would certainly be not as content as I am now.", he stared at you wide-eyed, his mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out. "I just wanna say that I really, really appreciate you!", your eyes connect with him, hoping he would finally understand the message you were trying to give him. "I can't believe you! I can't believe how incredible you are. How...how in this world do I deserve you? How do I deserve you as a best friend! I come here every few months, not talking to you nearly as much as I should and as soon as I am unhappy you are ready to spend time with me and just have a best friend speech ready that anyone could be jealous of", he removed his hands from yours just to pull you close in a side hug you didn't expect. Best friend speech, exactly... It sounded aweful to you at this point, why did he not see that you were not planning on being his best friend forever. Stupid you, no stupid Josh, stupid world. After sitting in a hug for a while you speak up: "There is one thing you could do to make this all even" One of his eyebrows rose and he looked at you with a questioned look on his face.
"What?"
"Tell me what you feel?", but before he could even open his mouth you take his face in your hands and softly press a kiss to his lips. He looks startled for a moment after you pull back, but then his face softens and now he is the one holding your face with his hands. "This is what I feel", it's nothing more than a whisper but his lips touching yours was answer enough. Your arms find their way around his neck and you deepen the kiss slightly. The kiss was more than you ever thought it would be. He was so careful, his lips fitting perfectly on yours they moved in a sort of trance. When you finally pulled away you leaned your forehead against his, breathing in heavily you smiled widely. "The night of the promise I brought you out here because I wanted to tell you I loved you. In 12th grade...guess I'm gonna do it now. Josh, I am madly in love with you and I am sick of hiding it", your breath quickened as you suddenly were unsure of his reaction. You watched him carefully but to your delight his smile widened even further. "Y/N I can't believe I could have had all of this so many years ago. I loved you too, I still love you", he pressed a short kiss on your lips before engulfing you in a hug.

When you looked up again it had already become complete night but you didn't want to leave, because leaving meant leaving Josh, it meant that time was going by faster than it should be. You turned to Josh again, "Stay with me tonight. Stay with me and pretend like the world doesn't exist"