innuendo | ben hardy

TWENTY SEVEN.

'nailah, nailah wake up!' says tom trying to wake up nailah.

she just pulls a face and turns around, stuffing her face deeper the pillow.

'nailah come on.'

'what?'

'it's past noon, you've been asleep for over twelve hours. i was starting to get worried.'

'past noon? oh fuck, i'm so late for work!' she says suddenly getting, rushing past tom.

'hey relax, i called them up earlier saying you were sick.'

'no tom, i don't take sick days.' she says going into the living room and suddenly stopping.

'wait don't go out there-' says tom quickly following her but then stops next to her.

'ben?' she says softly.

'hi nai.' he says with a small smile.

'what are you doing here?'

'i thought we could talk you know about everything.'

despite everything that has happened nailah still wants to talk to him about it. she wants to be mature about it.'

'um sure.' she says shrugging awkwardly.

'oh i better get going, i need to go and do some shopping. i'll be back later.' he says quickly grabbing his keys and wallet and leaving the apartment.

'nailah i-'

'do you mind if i start? i just want to get everything out before i forget anything and you end up changing my mind.'

ben just simply looks at her and nods his head.

'benjamin jones. i fell in love with you because of your laugh. the way your nose would crinkle up and you would shut your eyes. it's that kind of infectious laugh that automatically makes you laugh as well. it made you feel like everything was going to be okay.'

'your eyes, they are so bright and constantly full of life, they are the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. every time you looked at me with those emerald eyes, i fell deeper in love with you.'

'your smile, oh my dear god, your smile. before i met you, i never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason. seeing you smile was my favourite thing in the world, it made me realise how truly lucky i was to have you.' she says looking at him with a small smile but suddenly her tone changes.

'but that's just it isn't that? that's the problem. you're just so god damn beautiful that other women couldn't keep their hands off you. and you couldn't keep your hands off them either.'

'do you not realise how hard it was for me not knowing where the fuck you were doing god knows what with god knows who? the amount of times i wanted to spam you with calls and texts but i said to myself "no, i'm not that kind of person. i trust him." i'm a fool, that's what i am. a bloody fool who should gone with her head not with her heart. i thought it was too good to be true, finally meeting a man who truly loved me. before you came into my life, i never knew what true love felt like and i guess i still don't.'

'you don't even realise, even after all this i still want you. despite all the other women that you've met kissed and touched. i still fucking want you. because i love you so god damn much and i don't want to let you go. i don't want anyone else to have your heart, kiss your lips, or be in your arms because that's only my place. i want to be the only woman in your life. i may not be the prettiest or have the best body but i can offer you something that they can't. and that's love, ben.'

'baby i-' he starts to say but she buts in, ready to burst into tears.

'don't. i'm not your baby. but despite after everything i've just said, i can't do this anymore. i need to do what's right for me and the baby. all this psychological pain isn't good for the both of us. i was trying my best acting like everything was perfect but it was actually falling apart around me. i'm going to be known as the woman who let's her boyfriend go around with other woman. i'm an idiot for even letting myself do that but that's over now. we're over.'

'come on nai, i know you don't mean that. let me explain, give me a second chance.' says ben, tears falling down his face.

'don't even try that with me. and explain what? the one time in the back of my car? or the other time at her place? or even that one time you did it in our own fucking bed? you really think i'm going to let you explain you cheating? there is no explanation in the entire world that is going to make me forgive you. i've put up with it for way too long, it needs to stop. i forgave you once and then you just did it again and again because you know you could get away with it. but now don't worry, you don't have to think about your pregnant girlfriend when sleeping with someone else. because i won't be here for you to think about.'

'nailah please. i love you. you're not only the mother of my baby but the love of my life.'

'if you really loved me, why would you see other women?'

oKaY i know ben really didn't talk because i wanted this to be about nailah and nailah only. so basically to sum it up, he still remains part of her life for the baby's sake but that's it, for now.