Loss or Love

- Indecisive -

44

In the morning Jungkook found Jimin clenching around Hoseok, both sleeping against the bathroom wall.
Hoseok's eyes were swollen red as he opened them to meet the worried younger who seemed desperate for answers.

Hoseok simply stated they needed to get back home again due to Jimin's sudden sickness. No details spilled, no secret relationship pact broken.

It took some time before they got Jimin to senses again. He was like glued to Hoseok similar a little child, he denied his hunger taring on him. Rejected the fact he wasn't even able to stand up without support.

Jimin whined constantly while laying to Jungkook's lap in the car, while Hoseok kept his sight steady focused on the road ahead.

Namjoon decided to stay behind with you. His concern of losing you still remained, and he didn't wanna risk anything.

The following day went by slowly, the air felt heavy and thoughts crowded your head. You really wish Namjoon's presence could be more calming for you. You knew he wouldn't hurt you, or use you... but things still didn't feel alright.

Some place within you, his betrayal and the aftermath of it still lingers. Hurting like small contagious pinches. A nightmare added on top didn't help either, but you can say your acting skills had somewhat bettered itself through it all. So Namjoon had no clue, other than the tense aura surrounding you.

(*Your POV*)

You rested your head backwards, staring at the ceiling in the dull light.
A weight appeared to your side, a gentle hand placed on yours and the other forced your head to lay to his shoulder.
An uncomfortable feeling settled to your chest.

His voice was deep and low, calming but still alarming, awakening visual thoughts.

RM: "Relax, don't be so tense sweetie. You okay?"

Y/N: "Honestly, I don't know" You sight heavily.

RM: "I can understand. Is this okay to you?"

He hinted the question towards his close presence. You didn't really know what to answer, cus visuals brought you to reject him. Taehyung picturing in your mind kept you distant with yourself stuck inside another world, a darker place.

RM: "Hey Y/N-ah! Look at me"

His eyes of sympathy functioned like a key to the cage you found yourself closed within.

RM: "Talking to Hoseok after everything, he explained it all so well. But do you remember what he told you?"

"He told you to breathe, and talk out. Unlike him I won't pressure you, but i don't want us to part again with potential information that will hurt one another"

Y/N: "Okay let's just talk out then"

You were sick of the choking loneliness, sitting on information full of emotion, and the fear of being touched.

Your whole entire body rejected it, but crossing that line of comfort felt yet necessary at the situation.
Before saying a word about anything, you wanted to confirm to him that he's the one, the one dominant in your dream, the one face less blurry, the only one you would ever need by your side to survive. He's the one you love.

A kiss sweet tasting like nothing else, no candy or drug felt quite as addictive. His plump lips to yours as time stood still for seconds. Your heart rushed, beating love to arouse in your system. Yet the brain forced guilt to stream and override as poison.
Retreat.