Hooked [Complete]

64. Beltane Part 10: A Mortal Death

Author's Note: For this chapter, we rewind time a few minutes to hear Cerridwen's monologue...our action begins here just after she has sacrificed Trivia to the spirits of the dead.

Song for the Chapter: Revelator by Gillian Welch. It's not the lyrics, so much as the sad, sweet urgency of time that makes this song fitting. The idea of time as the revelator--gifting us all with the understanding that days get straighter with time--the less you have, the more critical they are to spend wisely.

Cerridwen's POV —Two Minutes Ago

I feel like one of those tiny ballerinas on a little girl's jewelry box. Well, maybe a steampunk version, because I'm not a ballerina, I'm a deadly witch. I don't play music, I hiss to the dead, and I don't spin in a pirouette, I twirl round and round, in an animalistic crouch, keeping everyone in view—Cernunnos and Mercury, Diana and Sean, Lana and Apollo, the four remaining godspawn. But like the ballerina on the jewelry box, I am slowly winding down.

I am only mortal now. I can't keep this up much longer.

But I keep casting.

And then, something I thought would never happen happens. Dru appears, and I am actually glad to see her. I call to her. Damn dark witch that she is, she sees pitiful Trivia beneath me and understand the entire magical scene at once. Then something else happens that I can't believe. I find myself sending her to Sean.

I have to. I don't know how much harder I can push these ghosts. Diana is closer to crossing back into reality than Apollo, and that means Sean is one second closer to death than Lana. I can't free Sean and keep command of the ghosts. Trivia was smart. She used sacrifice magic on those cages, because that's the only magic that would hold, if she were to fall. It will take an equal sacrifice to reverse her spell. Druantia will see that. She will do what she must.

I keep casting.

Fuck a duck! Maeve and the Coven are here too! Excellent! I don't even have to give that wise woman a nod. Mama Bear's on it, headed straight to Lana's cage.

A full coven! Now I have something to work with! They'll free Lana and Sean and then help me wrangle these spirits before I lose my grip. Things are definitely looking up.

I keep casting.

What the hell is taking Dru so long? That goddamnspawn tried to kill me, don't feel remorse for him, witch! Oh no, Cutie, don't. I know you don't belong to me anymore, but don't go all love-puppy right now. We need Druantia in the house, not your Honeywitch!

Dammit. Wrong again. I know I said I'm a witch that can admit her mistakes but two in a day is getting to be a bit much. First I was wrong about Sir Kittyhart, and now I see that I was wrong about Druantia. A truly dark soul doesn't make Greenspark like that. It's pure—vibrating almost as finely as the energy that Cernunnos and I used to have, in the beginning. And Sean's aura is different with her than when he's with me. The Sexwitch darkness pours out of him like ink when he kisses me, but now, his dark aura is finely patterned, like black lace. Perhaps he has learned something awful and wonderful from working death magic on Trivia, because the control that I was only just beginning to teach him now seems effortless for him. He will not kill or harm again. Oh my darling Tuatha de Danaan. He will be a true god of love.

Ha! Look at that! I'm planning for the future! We are totally getting out of this situation! Everyone is coming out of this okay. Well, I'm mortal now, and probably damning my soul, gutting a goddess, but I have enough life experience to deal with a little darkness. Not the first kill I've ever made. Never really been a Good Witch Glenda.

Yeah, we're all okay! And the least of my worries is Cernunnos. Horned stag on a piece of toast, he's magnificent! I've never seen him fight like this! Usually he just hunts, and fucks, and boasts, and lets mortals dismember him. I had no idea he was so handy with a sword. Where did he learn that? Oh, right, I heard he went through an ironic phase after I left him, and spent some time as a mercenary in the crusades when his horns were broken. Huh. Sword fighting must be like riding a bike, because he certainly hasn't forgotten how to handle himself. God, I wish Sully was here, so he could see Cernunnos fight like this. I won't tell the tale nearly as well at the Balefire tonight.

I keep casting.

Sean is free. Lana is free. Apollo and Diana are blocked from the mortal plane.

Cernunnos is winning. Sully would say, "It's all over but the shoutin'."

Mercury knows it. His eyes cut to me. I give him a triumphant grin as I keep casting. He shrugs, a little rueful. What was that for? Suddenly he unmakes himself. That cowardly bastard, is he actually fleeing Cernunnos? I raise my voice to the spirits, beseeching them to trap him in the divine plane. I leap to my feet, spinning...where is he—?

I stop casting.

The world stops. No sound. No movement. Nothing outside. I can't even hear myself scream. I can't even see. I can only feel.

Pain. Blinding, deafening pain. The world restarts and the pain is like an explosion—I can feel the edges of horrible hurt, but at the center there is nothing. Nothing of me. There is more than the steel of Mercury's sword impaling my core.Mercury's divine will fatally invaded me with that sword thrust. There is no spell that can be cast quickly enough to save me. When a god wants a mortal dead, it happens too quickly and too powerfully to oppose.

Mercury whispers in my ear. "Perhaps one day you might have taught me to love, like you taught Cernunnos. But I cannot return to Jupiter in defeat, and I cannot beat him alone. I need my kinsmen. I'm sorry, my dear."

Pain races back in as he pulls the sword from me. Hot metal rushes up my throat. No, that's blood.

My eyes water as they fix on their last sight.

Cernunnos' beautiful face. Only it is not beautiful now. It's twisted as he stands paralyzed, powerless, and in complete and utter agony.

Oh my love, I'm so sorry. He's never felt that before—the pain I've felt ten thousand times. The pain of being torn in half.

I fall forward, and I feel Cernunnos' warmth around me for the last time. He's somehow found the will to move, and catch me. I can't see him, though. My vision is going dark.

"Rise," I gasp, clutching at him. "Fight."

"No point now, my love," he murmurs.

No, no, no! He can not die. Cernunnos is eternal. He survived death ten thousand times. He must go on. He must go on for both of us.

I grasp at him, I can't feel much, but I manage to grab his hair. I muster all the will I have left, and tug fiercely. For a second my sight returns. His face is expressionless now, pain replaced by resignation. He sees my gaze return. He grips me tightly and leans close, for one last moment together. He misunderstands the wildness in my eyes.

"Caer, do not be afraid. There is no awareness at all while your half of our soul awaits mine. You will not be alone long. I will find you. We will be one, even if in oblivion," he soothes.

I shake my head. "Fight," I hiss. "Avenge me."

His face fills with pain. "No," he whispers. "Do not ask that of me."

"Avenge me." I start to cry, not from pain. From fear that he will let Mercury kill him. "It is my dying wish. I always gave you yours. Promise me."

He lets out a sob. "Godsdamn you, Caer."

"Promise me!" I choke on a bloody sob. And suddenly I'm choking, and crying and drowning in my own blood.

He clutches me. "I promise," he whispers frantically. "Don't cry. I promise. I promise. Please, darling, don't cry. I promise."

I nod, unable to do more. I fight to control the sobs, and the bloody coughs, to make a good and peaceful death, for Cernunnos' sake. I still. I close my eyes. I feel only his lips, warm on mine, his own breath rapid and shallow.

Cernunnos is my last sensation.

A/N: I know, I know. But really, there is no other way for Cernunnos' New Wheel to begin. He must experience the fate that Cerridwen suffered so many times to become a god of duality, understanding and true wisdom.

Please vote, comment, etc, if you're still with me. We've still got a few ends to tie up. Hopefully, you'll find them more satisfying!