Growing Up

Stay Strong, Breathe Through It And Hold Your Head High

~Previously~

     This was one of those moments, one of those moments when you had to be older to feel the sadness, to know why people felt the sadness they did and why there was a reason to feel sad, to know why some people don't know how to react, cope. Juli was yet to reach that age. Oblivious to the information thrown at them all.

     "This is going to be a very bumpy ride..." Darry thought, and he was right.

~Now~

     It's been a while since everything crazy happened, maybe like a few months or so. The docs said I had appendicitis and when I was in surgery, found out my ribs had some "cancerous cells" or so they call it. That was when I made the tough decision to get treatment and with the help of others and fundraising it was possible.

     Even if that meant I would loose my tuff hair, it'll grow back anyways. If I didn't get help there was no telling how bad it could get, it's better to treat it early before it's too late. Plus, I'd rather go bald for a little while and wear a hat or hood than die of something with an alternative. What would happen then? I can't leave Juli like that, I can leave the gang like that. I don't even want to think about it.

     Juli is too little for any of this so I plan on telling her when she's older, like middle school older. There's a lot I'm going to have to tell her when she's that age, some stuff she'll have to know even younger than that. Like my parents, or just Juli's mom since my dad isn't her dad. Even that will be a tricky subject, telling her how no one really knows her father and all. But that's not for a long, long time.

     Darry told me how Juli spotted Ma and Dad in the hospital parking lot when the gang came and saw me after surgery. Now that scared me. I don't know what they want or why they came back now of all times but I have a right to say that whatever it is, it won't be good. I can promise that. Ever since then, everyone's been keeping their eyes peeled, especially when they're with Juli. The staff at the daycare even put locks on the doors so you have to get buzzed in unless you're a regular and they already know you.

     But no matter how careful we all are, I'll still be paranoid. They're ruthless people that will stop at nothing to get what they want. Absolutely nothing. And there's nothing I can do to stop them. That's what scares me most of all.

************

    Johnny rushed through the Curtis house as he desperately needed a bathroom. That day he had gotten another round of chemo and radiation to fight off the cancer, yet one of the main side affects took it's tole as Darry began to cook dinner. Sever nausea and vomiting. He slammed the door shut behind him and fell to his knees, releasing what little contents there was in his stomach.

     He hated getting sick to his stomach. His throat was burning as if it were on fire, his stomach ached and churned from the scent of dinner and his back became as stiff as a board within seconds. Johnny groaned quietly to himself as he heard a knock come through the thin bathroom door, the only thing blocking him from view of the worried gang and his sister.

     "Johnny? You okay in there?" Came Darry's worried voice, not opening the door for the sake of the raven haired boy's privacy. Unable to answer, he could only continue to empty his stomach as each muscle in his back and stomach got sorer and sorer. Johnny sputtered and coughed as he began to feel the nausea begin to wear off, slowly.

     He stood and flushed before the sight would make him sick all over again before he went to the sink and rinsed his mouth of the awful taste. Johnny leaned against the sink with his hands resting of the counter and stared in the mirror at his reflection. The sight shocked him but was also all too familiar.

     He was paler than usual and his thick, black curly hair was thinner than before. Dark circles began to form underneath his eyes as a result of insomnia, another side affect of treatment that Johnny quickly envied. The boy turned off the faucet and opened the door to meet a cluster of worried boys and one curious little girl in the hallway leading to the bathroom.

     "Guys, I'm fine now. Don't worry that much." Johnny assured. The 6 boys shared doubtful looks as Johnny turned his back. He himself felt doubtful, but he would always repeat it. "I'm fine" was what got him through day after day, the good and the not so good. He knew he had to stay strong, if not for others than for himself.

     If he could get through almost dying after saving kids in a burning church then he could get through this and so much more. Johnny only had to repeat one fraise to himself and he knew it would all be okay, in the long run it would all be okay.

"Stay strong, breathe through it, and hold your head high." Was all he needed to hear.