How to Disappear

Chapter III

Every day since my father died I have wondered why could I have done anything. WHy couldn't I have fixed his problems. When my "mother" started to drink I would think "how can I fix this?". I have always wanted to make the world a better place and fix things so everyone could be happy. But no one was happy. Now I'm not even happy. Walking on the street in the near Winter weather without a coat or jacket wondering what could I have done different. Run away? Report my mother? Would I have had a foster family? What would've happened to me? Would I be the same? But maybe, just maybe...if I would have done something I wouldn't feel this way. But I do. And this feeling will always be with me every day. For the rest of my life I will be wondering, what if? And why? A car pulls up behind me.

Brit?

"Get in psycho. You must be cold." Brittany sounded genuine.

I got in the car with utter surprise and wiping tears from my face with my numb hands and arms. "Why?"

She rolls her eyes and implies to me "You were always my best friend. You saw the best in me when I didn't. You'll always be my best friend, so I want to help."

I look out the window. "You can't help depression Brittany." More tears roll down my face.

"I still care V. You were anorexic. I don't want to lose you no matter how much crap I have put you through. I know it's partially my fault too. Before I realized how sorry I was you were in the hospital. I thought I was going to lose you." Brittany is a sweet girl. I wish we would have stayed friends this whole time.

"Then join us. Us losers. Be our friend. If you want to be my friend you have to accept being called a loser. It would prove you care."

She rolls her eyes and smiles. "Fine...loser."

"Back at ya'." I grinned with another tear making its way to my lip.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I ran outside and I saw your friends panicking. I went over to them and they weren't so grateful at first but I told them I would look for you. We are all meeting back at my apartment." Just as she finishes her sentence we pull up into a big building with nice finishing and white curtains from the inside of the windows.

I roll my eyes and get out of the car walking inside as fast as possible. AS Brittany opens the door I get a scent of cinnamon along with Coles cologne when he grabs me and hugs me hard. I got nervous for some reason. I guess it was because I thought I had embarrassed myself. Cole let's go of me. The room got dizzy and I saw Brittany's face before I fell to the ground. But before I could feel my head hit the ground someone, I don't know who, caught me.

Brittany's POV

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Has she felt like this for a long time? I had so many questions as to why Ivy felt like this. I don't think she realizes how loved she is. Not by many people sure but, still. She had fallen so far from the confident everything kind of girl she used to look like. I don't know how to help her. I mean I wasn't there for everything she and been going through. I turned the whole school against her because I was the jealous one. I was the one who was so selfish to the point of driving my best friend to the option of suicide. I have to fix this. If I don't, I don't know how she'll survive. I mean it already looks like she's suffering so why do this to her again. I ran out the door and to my car. I got to the school and walked quickly to the cafeteria. It was lunch time. I stood on a table afraid for my reputation.

"EVERYONE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" I yelled through the cafeteria. "Those things I said about Ivy Danvers..about being crazy...and a druggie, were false! I LIED! Because I was the jealous one. I regret it and I'm SORRY!" Mrs. Sanders walks towards me with a disappointed look on her face.