Only Reminds Me of You

Nakatulala pa rin ako sa cellphone ko. I still cant understand. I cant figure it out. The empty message you sent me that day. The last message you sent to me before your accident. Are you trying to ask for my help, Glen? After your death,hangang ngayon Glen, nahihirapan ako . . .

"Dea! Dea! Intayin mo ko!"

Si Marc. So, he managed to find me. Akala ko hindi niya na ako makikita ditto.

Sino siya? Stalker ko. No, of course im kidding. Senior ko siya. Fourth year na siya third year naman ako. Kung may romantic relationship kami? EWW.

"Ano ba? Your starting to annoy me, Marc!"

I give him a sharp eyes and irritated look. He is getting in my nerves. Ang kulit kasi niya eh. Daig pa niya si Mama.

"I called you a hundred times. Hindi ka sumasagot! You leave me no choice."

Hinila niya yung right hand  ko.

“OUCH, Ano ba.”

Im not in the mood talking with him. Hinila ko yung kamay ko then, i face him my back. I dont want to talk about . . .

"We decided to visit Glen's grave, for his 40th day right?"

Now he said it. All my wounds open up again. 

"I dont want to go."

Maglalakad na sana ako palayo sa kanya. Ayaw kong pumunta.

"You receive a blank message from Glen, do you?"

My heart skip a beat. Then I stop walking.

"Paano  . . . Paano mo nalaman?"

My voice is shaking I feel like crying at the moment right now. Ang daming tanong sa utak ko. Gusto ko ng sagot.

"At the funeral, the police looked inside Glen's phone."

Im innocent! I don’t know anything about his death. I . . .

"Gusto mong malaman yung meaning ng text niya?"

He grabbed my arms again. The truth is Im scared. . .  natatakot akong malaman. Ayoko!

"Sumama ka sakin."

Where are we going? My body unconstrained followed him. Maybe I also want to figure out the blank message he sent me. The blank message he sent me before his death. Glen, what are you thinking about that time? What are you thinking?

 Flashbacks began playing in my mind.

The first time i meet Glen is a sunny day like this. It was a very hot day before the summer. About a year ago . . .

"Dea. Gusto kita. Pwede bang manligaw?"

It's also my first meeting with Marc. He confessed his feeling for me. Sumulpot na lang si Marc kung saan tapos sinabi niyang gusto niya ako ng biglaan.

"Ayoko sayo."

I said that without a blink. I dumped him right away. Hindi ko naman siya kilala at wala akong pakialam sa kanya.

"Teka lang . . . pag-isipan mo muna."

I still remember his facial reaction that time. Nagulat siya. Siguro, noon lang siya nabusted. Nakakatawa.

"Sabi ko ayoko. Ang kulit mo."

I distance myself with others. Ayokong mapalapit kahit kanino dahil sa huli alam ko iiwan din nila ako. Yes, im a cold person. I dont like to attach myself with others too much.