Solving for Ex

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

as fearful of notice and praise

I went through a week and a half of walking through the halls of Mansfield Prep being Vincent Cole’s Date to Sadie Hawkins. I couldn’t stop rolling my own eyes at how ridiculous that was. Instead of envying me, those girls should have all been holding me up as a role model for how to be more assertive. Even though I technically hadn’t asked Vincent—he’d accepted my sloppy invitation to someone else. My invitation that was too late.

Every time I saw Brendan in the halls, in fact, my footsteps echoed off the shining tile—too late, too late, too late. It was a refrain that didn’t make any sense. Just weeks ago, we’d been so close to being together. That morning on the water tower, the way he looked at me through the brightening fog…

Too late, though. Because even then, when I’d been imagining feelings in his eyes, he already knew Sofia existed. Had already spent that whole damn cruise with her. Had probably been thinking about her while he was looking at me like that. What exactly had they done under those stars together?

Vincent, on the other hand, was thinking about me. Only me. Just like he’d promised. A promise I hadn’t even asked for, but he upheld it like his life depended on it. Not only did he not carry any other girls’ books, or lunch trays, or backpacks. He didn’t make eyes at any other girls, talk to any other girls, or walk beside any other girls.

None of the guys here had ever wanted to hang out with me. Probably the combination of math, the camera, and that being around me was pretty much all depressing all the time. Unless they loved a girl who randomly stared off into space and couldn't hold a conversation particularly well, they weren’t gonna want to go out with me.

All signs pointed to Vincent being exactly the kind of guy I should want to be with—the kind of guy who wanted to treat me exactly like I should be treated.

Which is why it was a total mystery that, whenever I saw him, I tried to duck out of his line of sight.Every time I saw that golden mess of curls, chiseled jaw, and strong, wide shoulders, my heart sped up. And not always in a good way.

Instead of letting it stop me in my tracks, for the first few days, I made my feet speed up right along with my heartbeat, only feeling calmer when I caught a glimpse of Brendan. Being near him was certainty. It was my safety in this school that I’d always been too scared to find my own place in.

That kind of faded when, every day, I ran into Brendan talking with Sofia. Or walking with her. Or carrying her books.

So the next week, when Vincent stepped up to my lunch table and looked at the empty seat beside me with a question in his eyes, instead of looking away, I smiled. When he talked, I listened. And when he offered to walk me to my car, I didn’t say no.

Every day, Vincent walked a little closer to me, smiled at me a little bit wider. Every day, I smiled back at him a little more and wondered when I’d see Brendan a little less. Every day, more eyes followed us. And every day, I cared less.

A full week after I accidentally asked Vincent to Sadie, I’d almost started dropping the “accidental” part when I thought about it. I’d asked Vincent to Sadie. Vincent was cute. Vincent thought I was cute.

Brendan was barely freaking looking at me, and, for the first time since I’d met him, he was making me feel worse instead of better.

Three days before the dance, Vincent sidled up to my locker as the last bell rang. Crazy how the guy always seemed to find some noise or event to announce his arrival. I’d planned to head out to the water tower that afternoon, since the woods surrounding it had begun to edge themselves with autumn gold. The camera bag just barely fit into my locker, and apparently it was tougher to wrench out than it was to squeeze in.  Vincent’s voice, low and velvet, breezed in over my shoulder.