The Untitled.

Happy Birthday

Puffing and sweating, her cheeks are red and her shoulders are tired of carrying the same old heavy school bag. She just got home from school, went to take a bus from a long way but it still made her tired and weak. She slumped by the couch, "Well, I hope everything turns out well." She can't help but think she's 17 and ready to be celebrated, and maybe her friends would berserk her to give them a treat and hang out with them, she loves her best friends, it's hard to let go when they're about to separate schools which is this year.

Few hours have passed, spaghetti was done, chicken is done, salad is done, cake is here, drinks are here, and all the plates, glasses and spoon and forks are already here. As she takes a peak to the dining room, everything felt jolly like Christmas, she can see flashes of light even though it's just a bright white bulb, but she can't seem to smile, maybe because she's already used to it, but why? She spaced out just staring at the dining room with her parents rushing over the few things they need. Dad is preparing his video cam because he records every event of their lives. It's sweet to hear that he is documenting their lives but it gets very irritating too (because she remembered Dad following her to the school grounds while recording a video of her in her first day of school and people would stare as if she's a model, but she's far from it and she hated that attention. Plus, it's severely embarrassing.) Minutes later, they started the feast.

"...happy birthday to you!" Her brother, Mom and Dad sang in unison in a horrible tune. Technically, she doesn't like people singing happy birthday to her because truth be told, she knew everyone having the same situation as hers are as uneasy as her. Just imagining it is as tense as it is, just sitting there waiting for the singing to end; you don't know if whether you'll sing along or clap along or just smile and trying not to say "stop", it surely is evil.

"Now, let's start wishing!" said Dad.

Her Dad had forced her big brother to start his wish for her, of course, and forcefully, he did.

"I wish that you'll be an extra good sister, and... stay smart, I guess." said her older brother who isn't really sure of his wish for her, probably they have been wishing for the same thing since the first birthday, just changed the way of saying it.

"I wish for the very best of you, be wise, smart and lovable to your parents just like how I love your grandparents." Said Mom.

"I wish that you'll meet a lot of great opportunities and things in your life despite that we get to encounter a lot of family problems, it's a hardship after all, we all love each other and we all get to fight. It's just life, so I wish that you'll be greater than you were then. Now, darling, it's your turn to make a wish." Dad wished.

The warmth feeling of her birthday was just like her first 16 birthdays; just love spreading across the table; laughs and enjoyment are coated in the air like pollution. She wanted to say a lot of things so badly, so she faced to her Dad's video cam.

"I wish I can spend my time with my friends now, I wish I can have higher scores, I wish I was good at sports, I wish I have a part time job, I wish I can earn money really fast, I wish I can meet someone better than him, I wish someone could love me genuinely, I wish I can meet someone I could really like and love, I wish I was tall, I wish I was skinny, I wish I have a thick hair, I wish I didn't have to bite all my nails with anxiety, I wish I have pretty nails like the girls in school, I wish I can be noticeable in terms of my potentials, I wish I can buy new and recommended equipments for my future, I wish I have a wonderful voice, I wish I have a lot of time, I wish I can reach this career, I wish my music will spread, I wish people will like my stuff, I wish Mom and Dad would stop undervaluing arts and music, I wish Mom and Dad trusted me and supported my career, I wish people didn't have to watch me fail and fall, I wish I didn't have to leave my friends, I wish I didn't have to be anxious all the time, I wish someone can hug me and carry all my tears, I wish I didn't have to look at the mirror and be insecure, I just wish someone would love me, I wish birthdays doesn't exist and so I didn't have to age and get worried about my goals and time being wasted, I wish Mom and Dad understands, I wish I can have some peace in my life, I wish I can laugh and stop crying to sleep. I wish I can be happy. I wish I'm happy."

"Thinking deep, are we?" Brother snapped me, "well, don't just stare at the video cam like you've been thrown in the outer space, what's your wish?"

I chuckled and smiled at my brother, and my parents, and to the video cam.

"I don't need to wish, I'm already happy."