Words from my Heart

My Dearest Daughter

I’m just 16 years old and yet I already have my bunso. She’s already 11 years of age…

Maybe you’re confused… I’m 16 and she’s 11… just 5 years gap… hell no! J

We’re not related by blood or something…

We’re just friends…

Turned to best friends…  sisters…

Until we became mom and daughter… cool right…

I’m in my 2nd year high school when it all started… and she’s in fifth grade then… 

We’re both in school dance troupe.

I used to look after her whenever her mom is not around, and I find that nice… and eventually she starts to call me “mama”.

Isn’t that sweet?

I feel something in my heart whenever she calls me by that term.

I feel so… uhmmm… there’s no exact word to explain it but… I’m happy… so much happy…

Then, I became her tutor… her secret holder… almost everything…

We shared stories, laughters and even tears… there’s nothing in this world can replace how I felt being with my bunso…

But, times gone by and I need to move out of our school. I’ no longer high school now. I already graduated from the same school she’s in.

And…

And…

Being apart… made a disconnection between us…

And this short, whatever you call this essay or story, I just want to tell my bunso this:

I’m sorry if you felt that I forget about you. No, I didn’t and I will not. Because you’re a part of me starting the day I own you as my child. Starting that day, I already kept you here in my heart that even I forgot almost everything you’ll be left in here- here in the deepest part of my heart.

I’m sorry if I may not be that sweet as before. I didn’t mean to. There are just so many things in my head from my broken relationship with someone I loved and maybe still love the most.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

If only I can bring back time, I will. And by that chance, I will spend more time with you my dearest daughter…

I love you. Please always remember that.

And if ever I will have my own child in the future, I hope for someone like you.

From your mama.