Taking Flight // LGBTC+

Wow 2 chapters

Once pulled into the safety of a dark, mysterious alleyway, Jermimah look over to her savior, a sessy tall male with dark hair, a stoic face and even sessier cheekbones. But the thing is he was probably gay. All good looking men are either taken or gay and he was giving more queer vibes. Look at Harry Styles, he isn't the straightest now, is he? And damn he's sessy. 

(omg 69 words wayy)

Jermimah leaned against the spray-painted alley wall, her hand clasped over her chest as she gasped for breaths. Damn she was almost made into a Jermimah pancake, Jermimancake, Jimecake, Panmimah. Oh panmimah sounds hawt. The sessy man looked over to Jermimah who was hunched over and gasping for breath like an obese granny who had to run out of her house because she left the pizza in the oven too long and it caught on fire so she had to call her eldest son who is the only one who still cares for her because the other two are in a different country or dying from AIDS, that's not a laughing matter tho that's how Freddie Mercury died. But she had to call him because the other two are gone and she was too fat to extinguish the fire so she just ran ya kno?

So the sessy man looked her up and down before opening up his wallet and fishing out a cigarette. He pulled a match from another compartment in his wallet, lifting his foot up and striking the match sexily off the sole of the shoe. But the match didn't light causing the sessy man to mutter under his breath "Crumpet!" He tried again and it worked so he lit the match and it was getting lit!!!! lmao get rekt 360 no scope

"Who in the name of Mr Krabs are you?" Jermimah spoke, finally straightening up and sticking her crotch forward to assert dominance. But the sessy man was not dominated causing Jermimah to thrust her crotch out further. It was effective. Sessy man was intimidated, or mildly concerned. 

"I am Edmund," said the sessy man who was also English making him a sessy english bloke. "But you can call be bruv depending on hat state your widwife ate her first sandwich in."

"Oklahoma?" Jermimah asked. 

"Edmund." Repeated sessy english blok aka Edmund. 

Jermimah nodded. "Alroighty so, wanna eat my french toast?"

"DISGRACEFULLNESS!" Hollered Edmund as his face puffed up like a pufferfish. Jermimah gasped. 

"Ceard?" Jermimah sniffled before her tongue turned into a donkey but she coated her donkey tongue by singing Shake It Off in her head until it went away. 

"I'll have you know I am allergic to eggs. Which is funny because the Queen - yes you heard me correctly - THE Queen of England forgot! Oh, and she put eggs in her quiche and I DONE ATE IT! Goodness gracious I near shat myself because The Queen fed me eggs which I am allergic to! Quite a laughable story, you know, The Queen and I talk about it all the time over the phone about how she, The Queen, fed me eggs in ehr quiche. I got her phone number - Oh, The Queen's number if you forgot who we were discussing."

"Well aren't you a lucky nipple? Sounds like you have an eggciting life."

"this isnt a joking matter i almost died"

"Oh sorry." 

"So," Edmund took a drag from his cigarette, but suddenly Jermimah realized the cigarette was actually a teabag. "Shall we get scadoodling? I have some people I'd like you to meet."

Jermimah raised a brow, looking the stranger up and down. Should she trust him? He seems too English to not be trust worthy. He also saved her life, not to mention he met the queen and she fed him eggs. So yeah, she probably should. Everyone who had allergies can be trusted. 

"Alroighty so. I have no life except for my murderous bird brother so ya." Jermimah looked around them, they were in an alleyway just like she remembered. That was evidence that they weren't in a simulation; they didn't teleport. But that would be pretty sessy if they did.

"Well shit okay bruv, lemme being ya to my secret base with my secret gang and we can smoke and edgy stuff. Did I mention I met the queen and she almost killed me cuz she gave me eggs? Yeah, the queen and she almost gave me eggs, which I'm allergic to lolol."

So Jermimah followed this rhit and she was totally not considering he was a fraud but yolo. Jermimah had nothing but her virginity to loose so why not °3°