fears || l.h [ ON HOLD ]

0.7

things were back to normal, luke and i hung out regularly. but with dani and ashton of course.

but things were odd. and i dont think they would be the same for a while. even though we both hoped they would.

so here we were, outside by the bonfire. i dont even know what ashtons talking about, but it must be funny if it triggered everyone to laugh. so i laughed along.

they were all having fun and telling jokes and suddenly i felt like i didn't belong there.

"im going to the bathroom, ill be right back." i said, getting up.

"you alright?" ashton said with a concerned look. i put a fake smile on my face and nodded. then walked inside the house.

i walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

i rubbed my hands over my face, sighing. i was exhausted, and it was too loud.

i turned the faucet on, and splashed cold water on my face. i fixed up my makeup, then walked back outside.

"im gonna head home guys, um i dont feel very good.."

"no! you cant go addie! we were all suppose to say the night." luke pouted.

"i have a really bad headache.." ashton looked at me with worry in his eyes.

"ill take you home ad."

and so he did.

+

the car ride was silent, thankfully. the radio was turned off and the only sound i could hear was the faint sound of the engine, keeping the car alive.

i rested my head against the window, looking for my phone. but then i realized that i forgot it.

"ash?"

"hm?" he responded.

"i forgot my phone.."

he groaned, making a turn back to lukes place.

"and i think ill just walk home."

+

ashton walked inside to get my phone. he didnt agree to let me walk home, so he dropped me off.

im currently sitting in bed, on tumblr. texting ashton, and luke. the bonfire wasnt going as planned because i left. well thats what luke said. ashton said that luke looked fine, and was having fun. so ill take it from ashton.

dani and i haven't spoken much. the whole bitch thing sort of ruined our friendship. oh yeah and her dating my best friend when i told her not to.

life sort of sucked at the moment. my summer sucked. everything sucked. i just wanted to talk to luke. or someone.

+

its been a week since i last hung out with the crew. yeah its been a while, but i need time. they all seem content with where they are. and i hope it stays that way.

my mom was leaving for england this weekend, i decided to go with her. since luke and his mother will be too.

"hey addie! are you packed yet?" i laughed.

"obviously not luke."

"cmon! we're leaving tomorrow morning. you need to be ready."

"come up and help me pack please!"

"ugh fine." he groaned, walking upstairs.

i laid down on my bed. not really wanting to pack. we were gonna be gone for about two and a half weeks. which meant alone time with luke for almost three weeks. which i could live with.

"hey cmon lets get packing please!" luke whined.

"wow youre more excited than i am."

"well yeah ive never been to england before."

i nodded, before getting up and grabbing my suitcase. i opened it up, stuffing a ton of clothes. comfy, classy, causal, any type of clothing. i packed a couple bras and about 12 pairs of underwear.

then i walked to the bathroom and packed my necessities, before walking out and packing my makeup.

"all done!" i fake smiled, sitting down.

"what's gotten into you addie. why are you so upset all the time?"

"why do you care luke?"

"adelina, you know i care about you."

"but thats not what i asked, is it?"

"youre my best friend, i need to care about you."

best friend. all id ever be to luke.

but why did it bother me so much? i obviously had some feelings for luke but it just hurt knowing that ill only ever be his best friend.

i didnt respond.

"want to go out to eat? my treat." he offered, clearing the silence.

"uh im not really hungry. but you should go with dani, shes going to miss you tons." i smiled softly at him, getting up.

"yeah youre right i guess, ill see you tomorrow." he smiled wide, wrapping his arms around me.

i always felt safe in his arms. it sounds crazy, but his arms were home to me. they just kept me sheltered from all the chaos.

+

we left for england at 06:00. and quite frankly, i was excited.

"how much longer until we get there?" luke groaned from beside me. i gave him a sly smile.

"a couple more hours, it will fly by." i laughed. "see what i just did there?"

he playfully rolled his eyes."wow youre so funny ad."

"whatever." i flipped my hair off my shoulder, smiling.

"addie, im glad im here on this trip with you. this past month things were really tough and im just happy that we can finally be ourselves now. we dont have to worry about ashton or dani or calum or anyone. we can finally have our peace and go back to our old ways." he said, giving me a look that ive never seen him give to me before.

a look of relief.

not only was i excited to be alone with luke, he was excited to be alone with me as well.

i smiled a bit, satisfied with the feeling. but i had ashton and he had dani.

but ashton and i werent a couple. hell, i dont know what we are.

but i sure hope ill find out in three weeks.

I'm sosososo sorry it took forever to update! I've had the draft saved for about a month, but I was so busy with school work! Sorry if it sucks, hope you enjoy! x

Oh & I wrote this on my phone, so excuse any errors, thanks! :-)