Sulûn (The Falling) [Tolkien Dwarf FanFic - Third Age]

A Dream

Author's Note: Warning: low-key smut ahead

—-

It was easy to forget in that moment the outside world; to forget how wrong it was to have this level of intimacy with a betrothed dwarf, the prince no less. No one had ever groomed me nor plaited my hair, that I could remember. It was unheard of outside the bonds of family or marriage, and I had been alone for so long. My heart fluttered in my throat with the hope I could belong rekindled, though I knew I was setting myself up for wounding. This thought brought home by the queer sensation of Nain's lips meeting bare flesh where my beard once was, before I had destroyed it in grief, as he nuzzled my neck.

I turned to meet the gaze of his smoldering dark eyes, and it didn't matter — nothing else mattered. At this moment it was not the reality of my Prince whom I could never have, it was a fantasy of a normal life where Nain and I could be. It almost did not matter that it was a fantasy, for I loved him. In this moment the heat in his gaze was for me and only me, and I decided if I was to be destined to be alone and parted from the only dwarf I would have, I would be thoroughly sullied. All that mattered was that Nain was here with me, and he was mine.

I tangled my hands within his hair, and pulled his lips to mine in a forceful kiss. It tickled. I giggled reflexively against his lips at the odd sensation of his beard against my naked face. He pulled away and looked at me questioningly. "It's my face," I shrugged, "The flesh is over sensitive without my beard."

His eyes softened with sadness, "I should have come to you earlier before you marred yourself." He stroked my smooth cheek with the back of his finger, sending a wave of hot fire down to my belly. "So smooth," me murmured to himself almost reverently. Nain pressed his forehead to mine and cupped my bare face in his hands, tilting my face up to meet his gaze, "My beautiful jewel," he breathed. He was so close I could once again feel the tickle of his beard on my face as he rubbed his nose against mine. "Mizimel, zu zirup men," my heart jumped into my throat at his words of love and gentle touch.

"Thundel, zâyungi zu, akhùthuzhur," I whispered against his mouth as he gently pressed his lips to mine once again. Nain wrapped his arms around me while deepening the kiss, eliciting a groan from me, muffled by his eager mouth. My head spun with the speed of his tenderness turning into raw desire. My hands were trapped between us resting on his firm chest, and I found myself leaning further into his embrace until we tumbled backward onto the bed. 

As I rose from atop him, I was granted a brief glimpse of Nain laying upon my bed, his raven hair fanned around him, his eyes hooded and lips flushed and swollen from kissing, parted as he regained his breath. Regrettably, I had not more than a moment to relish in this splendor before I suddenly found myself rolled onto my back with a gasp, pinned under his hard body. His hair fell around us in a wavy curtain, sequestering us from the world. My hands fisted in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging it wildly, his moans reverberated deep within my body. I felt more of his weight pinning me down as he shifted to begin teasing the knot out of my robe, trailing kisses down to my neck. Through the riot of pleasure I was receiving, I felt a pang of guilt for what this meant for his intended. "Nain, are you sure? There is no coming back from this, love," I gasped as he nipped my neck and flexed his hips, grinding his hard flesh into my thigh in answer.

All reason left me. I groaned in pure animal lust, clawing his tunic over his head. He ripped open my meticulously embroidered undershirt, causing buttons to fly across the room. He rose to his knees to look down upon my bare form, "Such beauty," he mused quietly before I grabbed a fistful of his beard and roughly pulled his lips back to mine through his hiss of pain. I felt as though I was being devoured.

"Thundel, mahayâsith-zu," I whispered urgently against his lips while struggling to free the buckle on his belt, "Please." He groaned at my words and roughly shoved my hands aside, finishing the job himself. I heard the clatter of the metal hitting my stone floor, and it seemed distant over our frantic breath. He paused at my entrance, looking questioningly into my hooded amber eyes, checking one last time if this was what I wanted.

I did not know how he could restrain himself in that moment, when I was so lost in desire I could heed naught but my flesh. I thrust my hips up to meet him, causing him to buckle on top of me and moan, "Oh, Mizimel, men-zu" as he filled me and made me whole.

—-

Of course, a simple coupling was not enough to make a dwarven marriage, but as we lay in my bed in eachother's arms completely sated, there was no denying our bond. Having pledged our love and intentions in such a way before joining pushed us into a period of betrothal by dwarven custom, but Nain was already betrothed and such an agreement was not easily broken. I was not even sure if our betrothal was valid in the light of an earlier one, though it was not consummated. Unfortunately, my work as a scribe had not afforded me an opportunity to read many tomes regarding dwarvish marriage, I found most of my time filled with copying receipts and inventory lists.

I sighed, causing him to brush my hair aside to study my face, "What ails you, my love?"

A heavier sigh escaped me and I curled into his embrace to find comfort "I just worry for what will happen when you leave these chambers. I belong to you, and you to another. This can never work. You are a Prince and I am a house-less scribe." My eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and Nain smoothed my hair before wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"Do not be troubled, dearest Mizimel. No one will come between us, for we were truly meant to be. I will have chambers set up for you near my own and talk to my father about making the proper arrangements. Dagmar and her father will likely be displeased, but I care not. Sleep, my dear, you have had a wearying day, although I trust some of that wearying was enjoyable at least." His mouth crooked up in a lopsided grin as I scowled and playfully punched his chin. He made it seem so easy, as if it were safe to hope.

Stifling a yawn, I whispered "Goodnight, my love" as I drifted to sleep curled against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me. I was home.

—-

With a languid stretch I awoke the next morning beaming. I rolled over to greet my Prince and saw I lay alone in a tussled bed. Was last night merely a dream?

Clutching my blankets to my body, I sat up and looked around my bed. I saw the aftermath of the previous evening — my ripped undershirt's buttons and the piles of what used to be my beard littering the ground. It was not a dream then. Fearfully, I left the bed with the blankets still clutched around me, dragging behind like train on a long gown, and walked over to my desk to glance in the mirror. Our braid was in my hair. I touched it gingerly as though it might disappear at any moment and felt the bead roll across my back and over my shoulder until the full braid was visible. I clutched the bead in my fist and a broad smile broke upon my face. Well, none of if had been a dream, but where was Nain?

Suddenly, a deep feeling of sadness washed over me. Maybe it was still a dream, only a different kind. The kind that Nain had seemed to eager to cast aside.

—-

Zu zirup mên — You complete me

Zâyungi zu, akhùthuzhur — I will love you, always

Mahayâsith-zu — Make me your wife

Men-zu — I am yours