Sulûn (The Falling) [Tolkien Dwarf FanFic - Third Age]

Dangerous Liaisons

"He will not allow it."

Those were the words which brought my life crumbling down around me, leaving me with nothing but the rubble of my broken dreams at my feet. He would not meet my gaze as they tumbled from his lips.

I had been living in the servant's quarters for some weeks, mainly staying in Nain's chambers unless he was entertaining guests. It was quite a change from my old, solitary life. I had fallen into a pattern of keeping his house and warming his bed, living the life of a married pair while pushing the thought from my mind that we were not yet married, for we were joined in the most important way.

That is, until this day. I stared blankly at the wall to the right of Nain's face, eyes slowly clouding over with unshed tears until he was a wavering shadow. I should never have hoped. "Mizimel, please. I will find a way to be with you." I had no words to respond, not even in anger. A part of me had always seen this doom. My eyes cleared as the tears finally fell hot on my cheeks and, having lost my resolve, I bent double with gut-wrenching sobs. Nain encircled me in his strong embrace, "Shhh, my love, my only. I will make this right," he whispered in my ear. The words rang hollow, I knew there was nothing he could do. Still I took comfort from being held, my face lost in the darkness of his hair smelling nothing but his pleasant scent of leather and oiled wood. My body sagged against his chest in defeat as he calmed me by smoothing my hair, his fingers searching out our braid.

As my ragged breathing slowed I asked the dreaded question, "When are you to be married to her?"

"My father said within the fortnight. I did not tell him of us, only that I wished to end the engagement. He will hear none of it, for her dowry was quite large and my father is loath to part with so many riches."

I thought back to the simpering Dagmar with her hair encrusted in jewels, I could not compete with the type of dowry a noble could provide. Uncharitably, I imagined her dowry was exceptionally large given her slightness and scanty beard, neither boded well for strong heirs. But I had nothing, I was an orphaned scribe with no fortune and no connections. In the eyes of Durin, I would be found lacking. "Then we have no chance," I cupped Nain's cheek feeling the smoothness of his braid against my palm, "It was only a dream, my love. We cannot be."

Nain clasped my hand, pressing a soft kiss into my palm, "Nay, I will not let you go so easily. In the days of wandering before Durin founded Khazad-dûm, Dwarves often married without ceremony. Surely I could marry you without my father's consent, even if it means renouncing my birthright and leaving with you."

"I could not ask that of you. It is too much."

"But you do not ask, I give this freely. I care not about this kingdom if it means I am to be parted from you, my jewel, more precious to me than all the true silver under Kibil-nâla. Let us find a cleric to draw up the proper documents, we already live together as husband and wife only unofficially. My father will either accept us or banish me."

His dark eyes were so earnest, I did not have heart to give voice to my thoughts: that there were darker things his father could do.

I squeezed Nain tight, hoping to never let go.

---

The next morning began as my days generally had, with Nain's arm draped protectively over me and his lips pressing a gentle kiss on the nape of my neck. I sighed happily, having briefly forgotten the troubles of the previous day, and took the hand draped over my belly in mine before bringing it to my lips to kiss his knuckles. Nain's voice, rough from sleep, came close to my ear, "Good morning, my jewel." I turned my head to meet his lips with mine, but he chuckled and pulled away, leaving me disappointed. "I am sorry, but we haven't the time this morning."