Amaranthine - JENLISA (completed)

TRIBULATION

"Why  don't we move far away from here? Just the two of us?" I asked Jennie  as we remained in bed, snuggling.  I was still thinking of ways how I'd  prevent her death. Maybe my mission was to save her after all? They  didn't tell me what to do with my privileges. Am I able to take a bullet  for her? Can I change our fates? I'll get shot instead of her.  Either  way, something needs to be done. I can't just sit here and watch  everything that's bound to happen.

That  doesn't make sense. Why make me remember things if I can't do anything  about it in the end? And there's Seung Hyun who I can't believe had so  much involvement in my life and Jennie's. He was family until he wasn't.  At this point, I don't even want to remember anymore. The flashbacks  have been coming a lot more frequently. It is as if, the God had been  showering me with these awful memories, testing me to my limits. 

I  keep hearing that sound. How it was loud and how it went through  Jennie's flesh. I heard how her heart stopped and then started beating  fast until it was faint and gone. I hear her gasping for air trying to  fight death as she clung to my arms and released tears in her eyes. I  hear her say I love you one last time as she let out her last breath as  she fades, I heard everything, I saw everything and I'm desperate,  desperate to save her.

Another  flashback. But this time, I don't think these eyes are mine. It didn't  take me long enough to realize I was seeing Jennie's memories. Maybe  this is one of the privileges. I didn't care anymore. No matter how much  I hated seeing the things being revealed in these memories, I have to  know to be able to save her.

Kim  Taehyung appeared in the picture. Seung Hyun introduced Kim Taehyung to  Jennie and have been Jennie's suitor since then. She knew what Seung  Hyun was doing. It was his plan to separate Jennie and I. He forced  Jennie to go on dates with Taehyung and Taehyung himself fell head over  heels for Jennie.

Taehyung  would always be around in all of Jennie's engagements. On and off the  camera.  Seung Hyun would make Jennie go with Taehyung even if she  didn't want to. There are times he had to drag Jennie out of her room  just to make her go out on a date with the man she doesn't love and the  man himself were blinded by his feelings. He wanted to marry Jennie  right away he proposed but Jennie declined but that didn't stop the guy.  He made Jennie wear the engagement ring to the point where she almost  broke Jennie's finger just to make her wear it.

At  this point, I felt like I wanted to throw up. How can Seung Hyun do  this to his own sister? Does Jennie's happiness matter? Is it because he  felt betrayed by me? Is it because I didn't return his love? Or is it  because I love his sister instead of him? I was horrified of Jennie's  memories.

She  hid her problems well. She hid it well from me. Whenever we were  together, She made it seem like there's no problem and that she could  defy Seung Hyun easily. But that's not the case. She was suffering a lot  as it is. She probably suffered more than I did. All because of our  love. I was beginning to regret everything. If I didn't love her, If  that kiss didn't happen that one time at the dock, If I didn't figure  myself out and If I let of my feelings for her from the get go, maybe  she wouldn't suffer like she did.

It  all comes down to me. It's my fault why she suffered and I've never  been so ashamed of my own selfishness. I felt like so many people wanted  something from Jennie and I was one of those people that tore apart. I  destroyed her relationship with Seung Hyun, I took away her future and I  took away her chance to grow old. Everything was my fault. I may not be  the one who pulled the trigger, but I'm the one that lead everything to  happen the way it did.

Jennie's  flashbacks didn't stop from there. It was the day that you confronted  Taehyung about everything. She told him she didn't love him and that  she's in love with someone else. He laughed at her and asked who's the  guy. Jennie didn't answer and he pulled her forcibly inside his car. He  threatened to kill the person that she's in love with if she didn't  agree to marry him. That evil smile on Taehyung plastered all over his  face. This person was no human after all. He may be alive but he acted  far from being one.

His  obsession towards Jennie grew as time passed by and Seung Hyun let it  happen in hopes that his sister will marry a man. That he'd rather see  his sister with anyone else other than me. It was the kind of  selfishness I didn't see from the Seung Hyun I knew back in the  underworld and I wanted to kill him for causing so much pain in Jennie's  life. If I could end his existence in the underworld, I would.

Taehyung  began hurting Jennie. He would hit her whenever Jennie didn't follow  what he wanted. I saw those bruises one time in one of my memories.  Jennie said she either slipped or hit something by accident. I never  knew the things that she was going through and I felt so fucking  helpless. She endured it all for me and I felt like the pain I was  feeling the whole time I was here was nothing compared to what she had  to endure. Then again, that gun shot.

It  echoed in my head like a never-ending reminder that the clock is  ticking and that I'm the reason behind all of this.  I didn't have the  right to fucking complain about the pain that I felt. I should feel it  because she went through it and I didn't even know. She literally went  through hell in exchange for a time with me. In exchange for our love.  Was it even worth it? Was I worth all that pain?

It  all leads back to my own memories that appear like awakenings. Now it  was about the person behind the trigger that ended Jennie's life. It was  Kim Taehyung. He figured out that Jennie wasn't in love with another  man, but a woman. He felt disgusted seeing Jennie with me.  The man  pointed the gun at Jennie and pulled the trigger without second  thoughts. Behind him was Seung Hyun that went with him.

Supposedly,  they were looking for Jennie's whereabouts and they did find her. Only  that, Jennie was with me at that time. It was Christmas day and the  holiday music began playing as Jennie gave me her sweetest smile and  greeted me a Merry Christmas.  It was supposed to be a happy day but  It's the day I lost the love of my life.

After  Jennie died in my arms, I felt numb. Lifeless like the world around me  didn't exist. I sat still holding Jennie's lifeless body that was still  warm. I looked at her half expecting for a miracle that maybe she'll  come back to life but she didn't. I heard Seung Hyun shout  Jennie's  name as he approached Taehyung and fought the man that ended his sisters  life.

He  got the gun from Taehyung and immediately pulls the trigger ending  Taehyung in an instant.  He rushes towards us and cries as he sees his  sister already gone. "I'm so sorry, I- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for  this to happen. Lisa, I- Jennie, no. This isn't supposed to happen." He  said as he sobbed uncontrollably not knowing whether to hold his sister  or not as he falls to the ground and shrieks in horror as he held the  gun that ended his sisters life.

"I'm  so sorry." He said as he points the gun on his temple. I looked him in  the eyes and uttered the words that he took with him. "I will never  forgive you." I said as he pulls the trigger and kills himself. He  pulled that trigger and another sound was made. I didn't flinch at the  sight of him. I was numb and completely lost.  On Christmas Day, I lost  everything.

The  memory kept repeating in my head and I found myself in the underworld  with Seung Hyun. "How can you let all of these happen?" I asked him and  he couldn't speak. "Your own sister Seung Hyun. She was your sister. How  can you let her go through all that? Because of me? How can you make me  suffer like this? Is it all my fault? You should have just killed me.  Because that's better than seeing Jennie die over and over again." I  said.

"I  tried correcting it, Lisa, I swear I tried. But I've failed in each  attempt of saving Jennie. I tried what you did, I asked the council but I  failed yet again and then you came here and it made me feel even worse.  Because my memories weren't erased. I suffered for a long time and I  still am." Seung Hyun said.

"You  should be suffering. This isn't enough. Your death meant nothing.  Jennie still died. You shouldn't be here. You should be in hell." I said  as I kept sobbing. There must be something. Anything.  After  remembering almost everything, I felt the time run by quicker.  I don't  have much of it left. I have to change Jennie's fate. She didn't deserve  any of these.  I'll do anything to change it. I have to.