Adam Driver Imagines

IMAGINE: Trying to Console Ben

You wake up to someone hitting you on the arm. "What? What!" You exclaim, sitting up in bed, your hair falling around your shoulders in a mess. You sniff and pull your hair back from your face. You look at your husband, Ben, who's still sleeping, his face scrunched up in pain. You frown.

      "No...no..." He breathes in sleep. "No, please. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cries, wildly turning over onto his other side. "Please forgive me, father. Please. I'm sorry." He sobs.

      "Ben?" You breathe worriedly, touching his arm.

     "No!" He shouts, pushing your arm back and sitting up. You stare at him, your eyes wide, as he gasps for breath, his face pale. "Y/N?" He says hoarsely, gazing at you through tear-filled eyes.

     "I'm here. I'm here." You whisper gently, smiling, grabbing his hand. He swallows hard and tries to calm his breathing. "Another nightmare?" You ask softly. Ben nods, wordless. "Do you want to talk about it?"

     He sniffs and you gently caress his hand. "It was about my father. Right-right after I..." He chokes up, tears sliding down his cheeks. "Right after I killed him on Starkiller Base, he was staring at me. He didn't fall into the chasm. Instead, he just asked me why—why did I kill him. He didn't look angry, only sad. He told me-he told me he still loved me—that he will always love me no matter what." He sobs. You feel tears well in your own eyes and pull Ben into your arms. He holds you tightly, weeping.

You caress Ben's hair, your heart breaking for him. "I'm so sorry, Ben." You whisper.

     "How-how do I get past it? How do I get past murdering my own father?" He asks miserably. "I thought once I left the First Order and joined the Resistance, everything would be better. However, it has only gotten worse. Every where I go within the Resistance, I'm reminded of him. I can't even look at my own mother without thoughts of my father bursting through. Everyone that passes by me sees me as the man who killed Han Solo, the smuggler and the Rebellion hero. They can't stand the sight of me."

     "Ben, that's not true." You frown.

     "Isn't it though?"

     "No, it's not. They see the man who made mistakes in his past but decided to do something about his future. They see the man who helped take down Supreme Leader Snoke and end the First Order."

     "Do you think they've forgiven me for all that I've done? Do you think my mother has forgiven me for killing Han?" He questions, looking down at the bed.

     "Yes, I do. It was a mistake. A grave mistake, one you obviously regret. They know you're sorry." You confirm, squeezing his hand.

     "And you? Have you forgiven me? For everything that I've done?" He whispers, dragging his eyes up to yours.

     Your eyebrows furrow. "Of course, I have. You know this." You whisper.

      "But how? How can you forgive me? How can you even love me despite everything? How can you love me knowing what I've done? How much pain I've caused across the galaxy?" He asks, shaking his head, staring at you, his eyes hollow.

     "Ben." You whisper, your voice cracking. You rub the tears from your eyes but they still come. "I admit, I hated you when you were in the First Order. Everyone in the Resistance did. But then you switched sides. You took down the First Order from within. You did something the Resistance couldn't do. When you joined the Resistance, I saw who you really are—not who Snoke made you to be. I saw your heart of gold—that instead of hurting people, you are helping them. I saw how truly remorseful you are for killing your father. I saw you step up and be a proper son to your mother. I saw you change into a completely different person—this amazing, caring, gentle person. I don't dwell on your past, Ben, because your past doesn't define you. Your past isn't who you are. I'm dwelling on your present and your future. What matters most is who you are right now and who you are going to be. What matters is how you're going to love others and be a light in this world that is so often shrouded in darkness. I don't love the man in your past. I love the man you have become—the man you continue to be each day." You reach a hand up and cup his face. "Don't keep looking back, Ben. If you do, you'll never move forward." You whisper.

      A tear moves down Ben's face and his chin quivers. "I love you, Y/N." He cries softly, pulling you into his arms. He buries his face in your hair. "I promise that I will never let you down. I will be that man that you deserve—that our future children deserve." He vows.

     "You already are, Ben. You are already." You breathe, smiling. He pulls his head back and looks at you. A small smile shows on his lips. He cups your face and kisses you softly. You sigh and kiss him back.

     "Thank you." He whispers, resting his forehead against yours and closing his eyes.

     "Anytime." You smile, closing your eyes.
[THE END] I hope you liked it!