Sunflower. [Noah Centineo]

Fifty seven

When Ethan got mad at me at first i thought it would all just blow over and Ethan would forgive me for contacting Noah again. But when three days past and he was still ignoring me i got worried, so when i texted in the groupchat with Ari and James i expected at least one of them to know why Ethan was still ignoring me, bu i guess they decided to join Ethan's side and ignore me to.

Those are just three people. We also have Penelope. She broke my heart a couple months ago. She was my best friend in the whole world and made a hate account of me. She exposed me. She told people about my brother, my ex boyfriend, my depression and eating disorder, even my almost suicide attempted.

And there are countless more people who i let into my heart and they just walked out and thought it wasn't going to affect me.

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BING! BING!

One new message from 'Noah'

Noah: Haley are you okay??

Noah: that was a stupid question of course you're not

Noah: i'm coming over please don't to anything stupid

Haley: i'm gonna do something stupid

Noah: what?

Read: 3:07 PM

Noah: Haley??

Read: 3:08 PM

Noah: Haley????

Read: 3:09 PM

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Noah was worried about me, i guess he wasn't gonna leave. Not yet anyway.

When i wrote that i was gonna do something stupid to Noah i was sitting the bathroom floor, i'd just broken my mirror and grabbed a large piece of the glass. I wrapped the end of the glass around a towel and held it against my wrist.

I was gonna cut myself again.

I know it was a stupid reason why. My friends were ignoring me. All the people i care about are ignoring me. It hurts, and way more than everyone thinks.

At this point i cut myself deep in my wrist. It didn't hurt. It was a relief actually.

And so i went on to cut myself more and more times..

Penelope. One small cut

Ethan. Another small cut

Ariana. Another small cut

James. Another small cut

People don't like you. A deep deep cut

People ignore you because you are an awful person. Another deep cut

Nobody likes you. The deepest cut yet

Everyone is mad at you because-

This time i cut so deep this time i felt the blood drip on my legs and i soon felt light headed, the last thing i saw before i blacked out was Noah rushing into the bathroom screaming my name.

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Hi. Sorry for writing this. :( i hate myself. Sowry.

HALEY ISN'T DEAD.

Also, if your struggling with suicidal thoughts or feeling alone just know your not alone❤️ there's always someone who can help, please call the suicide hotline in your country or call someone close to you and talk to them <3 i love you

For my fellow dutchies: WTF FELICITY HOE RAADE JIJ DIT OP APP GAST WAT YOU SCARY