Better Now

8 ∞༺♥༻✧ A New Beginning

It was half past three on a Tuesday afternoon when Tae finally spotted Yoongi.  The childhood friend that he had been longing to see.  Tae thought that Yoongi continued to avoiding him  because of what happened years ago and he wasn't wrong.  Tae also believed that he hadn't been a good friend to Yoongi.   He hadn't been there to catch him when Yoongi fell and that's a betrayal that is had to ignore.

Tae wanted things to go back to the way they were when they were happy.  He still had affection for Yoongi and his heart ached remembering the lost look on his face when he found out about his parents accident. Yoongi looked the same as he remembered him even down to his old t-shirt that looked a little worse for wear.   He still had that lost faraway look on his face. 

Yoongi was sitting on the ground and turned his head when he heard Tae's approach.  

"Yoongi," Tae said softly not wanting to startle him.  It came out as a whisper but it caught his attention.  

As he got up, Tae was afraid for a moment that Yoongi would run from him. 

"Yoongi," he said again.  As Tae's eyes met his, a strong emotion welled up in him.  He wanted to hug him.  He finally got to tell him in person.  "I've missed you so much!"

Tae put my arms around Yoongi.  The hug feeling familiar even though he was now bigger than Yoongi. 

"Tae-Tae!"  Yoongi voice was deep like Tae remember and he could hear the affection in those two syllables.

With a mixture of happiness and sorrow, spasmodic sobs rose in Tae's throat.  He couldn't speak and he couldn't let go.  Yoongi pulled himself away unable to control his tears either.

"When Jennie told me she saw you, I couldn't believe it.  I'm so glad you're really here."

"I haven't gone away, Tae,"  Yoongi said.

 "Come with me now. Let's catch up."

"Why don't we go to the park like old times?"  Yoongi said.

"Sure." Tae acquiesced. "Anything you want."

They walked side by side chatting about old times. "Remember when we used to play hide and seek in the woods?"

"Yes, one day you left me there,"  Yoongi recalled.

"We couldn't find you so we thought you had left.  Sorry."

"It's okay.  I was happy I had won and for a week you and Jungkook gave me your snacks cause you felt guilty."  Yoongi giggled.

"I really feel guilty.  For not being there for you.  I'm sorry."

"I know you tried.  I'm sorry too. I'm not a good friend."

"Yes, you are.  I totally understand why you didn't want to see us.  You chose to be with us instead of your family and now they are gone.  But how could you know that would happen?  It's not your fault, Yoongi.  We never know that when we say goodbye to someone it might be the last time we see them."

In his eyes, Tae saw the pain of losing those he loved, of rejecting them and then finding he would never see them alive again.

"Yes, but they begged me to come and I was mean and said I didn't want to be with them.  I said they were boring and my friends were fun."  It hurt too much, his sobs were inconsolable.

"I would feel guilty too but that doesn't make you a bad person.  You were a kid and wanted to play.  It's normal and I'm glad you stayed or I would have lost you for good.  I'm selfish too.  We all are."

Yoongi hugged Tae and balled his eyes out the guilty sobs shaking his chest finally allowed to escape along with the last remnants of his guilt.  He needed to hear that especially from him.

"I love you, Yoongi and I won't leave  you again.  Nothing can come between us."  Tae said.

Yoongi smiled at his friend that was so emotionally honest.  

"I promise.  I won't hide anymore.  I need you."

With spent tears and red eyes, they walked back home together so Yoongi could show him where he now lives.  After Tae left, Yoongi thought of the one thing that could come between them.  He knew he had to let go of his feelings for Jennie.  But how?