Better Now

17 ✧༺♥༻∞ Listen To Your Heart

Yoongi, wanting to fulfill Jennie's wish, asks her to go with him to buy the drawing paper before the stores close on Christmas Eve.  They head out happily because they are together.  Yoongi is all gums and pink cheeks. Jennie burst out laughing about something Yoongi has said joining her gummy smile to the mix.  From a distance, Taehyung watches them with a dejected sadness in his eyes. He wonders if his jealousy is reading too much into this scene but he can't help but come to the conclusion that his girl and his best friend are falling in love.  

Taehyung hurries across the street and calls out to them. 

"Hey, wait, guys!"

"Hello, Tae!" They both pause and wait for Tae to catch up to them. 

"There you are Jennie, I've been calling you."

"Oh, sorry, my phone must be on silent."

"You are such a good friend giving your full attention to Yoongi."

Jennie looks at him with wide eyes wondering if he's being sarcastic.  She feels guilty and her hands are shaking. "What?"

"Your mom says you left the house early this morning.  Have you been together this whole time?"

"Yes,"  Jennie says meeting the challenge in his eyes. "I was worried about him and came to see if he was alright."

"And are you alright?" He says turning to Yoongi that only nodded, his little eyes round with worry.

"Alright then, since everything is good, I'll leave you two to enjoy yourselves."

"You're not coming?" Jennie asked. "We're going to the store."

"I don't want to be a third wheel,"  Tae answered with a fake smile.

"Yoongi, could you go on your own?  I think I need to talk to Tae."

Yoongi looks at Tae but Taehyung can't meet his eyes.  He turns sadly and walks away, unsure of what he should do.  Yoongi can't help but wonder if she is going to break up with Tae.

They walk to Tae's house together neither of them speaking. Jennie finally breaks the silence and says what Tae dreaded to hear.

"You have every right to be jealous and angry with me."

"Jennie, stop! Please don't break up with me at Christmas."  

Her cheeks turn red.  She feels she's been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and it's best to come clean. "I'm so sorry."

"Let me give you your present."

"Tae, No. I don't want to play with your heart.  I can't pretend anymore."

"Please, don't say anything else.  You don't need to say what I already know."

Jennie stayed silent for a while.  She really didn't want to hurt him.  She reached for his hand and held it gently as she stared at his eyes.

"What do you want from me?"  She finally asked.

"I just want more time.  I feel like I'll never get over you."

"But, you will."

"Don't say that!  It sounds so final.  Like there is no more us."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to fall in love with him."

Tae sucked in his breath like he had been hit in the gut.  "How long have you known?"

"I don't know because part of me still loves you." 

His eyes dart to hers that are brimming with tears.   He hopes her words are true.  If she still loves him, there is still a chance.  "Then stay with me for a little longer. Tell me you love me even if it's a lie."

"No.  I need to be true to myself.  Rip you from my heart like a spent bandage.  You should do the same.  Playing this game will only make it hurt more."

"I prefer the pain to being numb.  Loving you is the best thing I've ever done.  You were so good to me.  You made me feel so loved.  Don't take that away."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"I do.  Maybe you just have a crush on him cause he's vulnerable and cute but that's not real love."

"Maybe you're right. I don't know.  I feel like I need some time by myself.  I need to go."

"Won't you stay for dinner?" Tae asked.

"No, my family is waiting for me. I have to go.  Please enjoy this time with your family.  Don't be sad Tae. Part of me will always love you. No one can take the memories we have together."

"The thing is ... only you can give me the feeling I love."

Jennie walks out but not before she gives him a hug.  She puts on her jacket as the temperature is going down with the sun.  She walks slowly down the familiar hill towards her house like she's done so many times.  But this time it's different.  It's like she is leaving him behind and it was making her very sad.  

His voice was replaying in her mind repeating the sweet things he had said.  Their relationship had been special.  Was it a mistake to leave it behind?   But, how could she ignore the way Yoongi made her feel.  

Ever since he popped into her life she could not stop thinking about him.  It was Yoongi she longed to touch, to kiss, to hold.  Even when they sat together with their friends around, their gazes had collided and she knew.  When she saw the flower at her doorstep, she knew.  When she saw his cute face looking up at the stars, she knew, and even when she looked down at him with an open mouth and red cheeks as he looked up her skirt.  She knew! It was Yoongi all along.