The Summer of '19 - A Camp Camp Fanfiction

~❀~ Orientation and Applesauce ~❀~

Campers bustled around the mess hall, already throwing food and utensils at each other. David's opening-day brunch was already backfiring. He should have known that the campers would be uncontrollably rowdy on the first day.

"David, think fast!" David heard Nikki yell. He turned his head toward the young girl to see her standing on a table, clutching a bottle of maple syrup in her tiny hands and smiling wildly. David barely dodged the stream of syrup that was heading right for him, which continued flying across the room and nailed Neil right in the head.

"Nikki, what the fuck? You're supposed to be on my team!" The scrawny boy screamed as he attempted to wipe the syrup out of his hair.

"Sorry! I was aiming for David!"

David sprinted across the mess hall to Gwen, who was attempting to dislodge a fork from Dolph's arm. "What do we do, Gwen? The first-year campers are going to be here in fifteen minutes!"

"Hell if I know, these kids are impossible. Just try getting their attention somehow." Gwen replied as she yanked the fork out of Dolph's arm, only for him to be hit with another in the leg.

"Good idea!" David took a deep breath as he put on a serious face and marched to the center of the room. "Excuse me, kids! Hello?" He was met with no difference in volume, if anything, the campers just got louder.

Gwen noticed David's failing attempts at getting the kid's attention and pinched the bridge of her nose. The campers had only been here for half an hour, and she could already feel a migraine coming on. "Son of a bitch, do I have to do everything myself? Everyone, SHUT THE HELL UP!" The entire room went silent, and the campers turned their heads to see Gwen standing on a table. "I don't know what kind of crack those pancakes were laced with, but you all need to calm the fuck down! The first-year campers are going to be here in fifteen minutes, which means this mess hall- and all of you- have to be cleaned up and calm!"

"And why should we do that?" Nerf, who was holding Preston in mid-air by his underpants, asked.

"Well, because...we-" Gwen began to stammer, thinking of a good reason for why the campers behave, but David hopped onto the table next to her and interrupted.

"Because there's leftover ice cream in the fridge from last year, and you can only have it if this mess hall is sparkling by the time the new campers arrive!"

The campers cheered before scurrying around the room to grab sponges and buckets of water.

"You think you can get kids to listen to you by bribing them with year-old ice cream- but I won't fall into your trap, David!" David and Gwen looked down to see Max scowling back up at them. "In fact, I'll make it my job to make sure these first-year campers hate this hellhole of a camp as much as I do!"

"Alrighty, Max, you do that. In the meantime, you're welcoming the campers with us, just to make sure you don't start any trouble." David hoisted Max up by the hood of his sweatshirt and walked out to the entrance of the camp, Gwen at his side.

~❀~❀~❀~

"Isn't this exciting? It's a whole new year, which brings a whole 'nother year's worth of memories and adventures here at Camp Campbell!"

"David, can we get one moment of silence without you screaming about how much you love this camp? I already have a headache, I don't need it to turn into a migraine." Gwen sighed, pulling a bottle of painkillers out of her pocket and popping a couple into her mouth for the third time in one day.

"Don't you think you've taken enough of-"

"No."

There was a small moment of silence before Max spoke up. "How much fresh meat are we getting, exactly?"