Hey guys, sorry i havn't updated lately. But i hope you guys liked chapter one, please vote if you enjoyed it. And thank you for the reads. Also One Direction won't be coming up until chapter 3 or 4 so please i ask be patient. Thank you, and i also added a picture of how Bayzle Adams looks like on chapter one, Basically she's Emily Rodd.
Okay now chapter 2! :3
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Letting go, was something i thought i was ready for. Leaving was something i was born todo but not yet. I was ready to go, to escape and run away from this world. But something strong was holding me back, in the last mintue my feelings changed completely. Like if i had meaning in the world, i felt alive but i was dead.
Beep, beep, beep. The middle toned sound of the hospital's machines filled my ears with it's "beep" sound. I feel tubes up my nose and air rushing out of them. With every inch of my scared, bruised, soul, i wished that i would have died and not have been able to feel air inside my system once again. Life dosn't deserve to deal with me, to deal with shit, i Don't deserve life. I slightly open my eyes; everythings still kind of a blur but things are strating to clear up. My eyes meet Kyle sitting on a blue leather chair. I panic to the thought of getting pound by my aunt. His hands are held together while he's leaning on his chin worried. My gaze turns down to my wrist. In this palm, thats where i was holding the murderer. Instead it is now replaced by a medium needle pressed inside my wrist attached to a tube carrying clear liduid in. Your a killer, your shit, you shouldn't be here, you shoud've died. I breath in roughly and loud that Kyle turns. For a second the human-killing pain in my heart was not felt. But it broke threw and took over my shallow soul. "Bayzle?" he starts.
Kyle gets up and his eyes are blood shot red. "You um...You overdosed..." he stays silent for a few moments. He stares right into my eyes but it feels like he's looking into my soul. No, Don't do that. He answered the question i didn't ask, he just said something That's the cause why i am in this hospital bed. No if these machines weren't here, i wouldn't be here.
I was a mistake, i shouldn't be here. I was born dead, if it wasn't for these cold metal objects i wouldn't be here. I have a theory, and a very intresting one. I believe if i was born dead it was because god knew the things i was going to go threw, he tried to keep me away from life, but he lost the battle against advanced technoligy. Docters should just let nature do its doing. If i was born dead it was for a reason, now im starting to see why. They were suppose to leave me dead.
Bayzle your brave, be brave for mommy right now, for daddy. Be brave, be brave, be brave. "The worrior has to let go sometimes." i slowly say. No one was built perfect, a human can take so much, there's just those times to call it quits.
I am just a human being like you, like everyone else. We all differ in many ways, being lucky to have a good life, others like me, were just born to die. We feel happiness for a second, but in a blink on an eye our life changes.
The door swings open and a tall round figure shoots threw. "Well yes, i can't say that i was right there that second, No No! She has a perfect life we treat her as he should be treated!.............. Sorry, i don't know why she did it!.......Maybe school issues?" My Aunt is on the phone. Perfect life? That's the oppisite of my life. School issues? Alot! But that wouldn't be the reason why i overdosed, Aunt, your the fucking reason why i did it!!! Oh no. The monster has just come out of It's chamber to eat it's victum...me.
"Oh she's awake." She looks over to me. A voice talks on the other line of the phone. The misterious voice says my name aloud and i widen my eyes. "You want to what?" My Aunt furrows her eyebrows. "Fine, fine, she's right here." She stretches her arm out to me with a delicate iphone in her hand. "Who is it?" i say weakly. She raises one eyebrow and glares at me with such disspare. "It's your sister." she hisses at me. My sister! Clare, she the only one left in the world for me, the one who left me but she didn't choose to leave. She left for a very powerful reason i rather not say.
She did choose to leave, everyone left you, you fucking faggot.
I gulp taking the phone in my hands. Kyle gasps, but i can see in his mood he's happy to hear that my sister is talking to us again. Gently i pull the phone to my ear and speak,"Clare?" My voice is shakey. I want to leave and get out of this world. I feel as if every inch on my body is being shot by a rifel. My heart race speeded up, making my hands and legs shake.
"Remeber you have a wonderful life!" my aunt whispers. Nodding in agreement is all i do. "Bayzle?" her soft voice is heard threw the other end. My eyes fill with water, with tears that need to be shed. My aunt stares at me to see if i obey her.
"Clare?" A tear of pain rolls down my bruised cheek and falls. "Sister!" Her voice gets high and fills my ear. She's excited. Why would she be excited to hear this? To hear a piece of shit talk? To simply hear me?
Nobody should get excited to hear a murder talk. A muderer. Murderer. I'm the stupid murderer. I hate myself, those are the only feelings towards me. I just came here to die and thats it. "Are you okay? I miss you so much you don't even know!" Her voice continues. My heart enlightens. Miss me? Dose she care for me? For me......
She dosn't care for you dumbass, if she would she wouldn't of left you.
I push the voice in my head back and not listen to it for once."You....you miss me?" I start crying. I hear her starting to cry as well. "Of course i do, your my sister i love you." I love you, i love you. The words echo in head.
"I love you mommy." "I love you, Bayzle." I love you Bayzle, I love you Bayzle, I love you Bayzle.
My soul lets the words sink in, like a ship on fire, attacked wave, by wave, by wave. Each one piling over each other. Sinking so deep and going into the shallowest, darkest, emptyest, part of the ocean.
My heart felt enlightened, loved? I was missed and loved? This is another stupid dream. Im shit, i wouldn't know how to be loved felt, because love is a strong healing, powerful, word. Thats something anybody recieves, people just toy around with the beautiful word. They use it in lies, but what they dont relize is that they take love for granted, then theirs people out there who need that word in their life to be healed. I need that word in my life.
"I love you too." Tears stroll down my cheek. I havn't said that healing word in a long time and recieving that word by my sister healed a part of my heart that was horriably broken. But the rest of my heart is still left in dark shadows and they will never be healed until i die.
"I have some news for you." She says whispering. I widen my eyes and breathe in deeply. "News?" I question with falling tears on my shirt. "News Bayzle, i don't know if you would like to, but for a fact i know that life with aunt isn't good." She states the truth. I look over to my aunt which is comepletely hovering over Kyle. I hesitate and speak," Go on......wi...with the news." "Do you want to move to New York? Here with me and Erick?"
My heart beats increases 30000 per second. Drops of sweat make their way down my forehead. Slightly, i turn my head to my aunt. "Move?" I whisper. But not quiet enough to stop my aunt from hearing. She sharply turns to me and snatches the phone away. "Clare?!" She shouts. "She's not moving! Your mother wrote a note for her to stay with me until 18!" She yells even louder. I'm seventeen, there's no case in having me a year longer if you know i'm going to leave. "Pass me Bayzle!! I was talking to her!!" My sister is on speaker. "No!! Re-read the note Clare!!!" My aunt shouts. "Okay i have a copy of it right here!! Erick, bring me my private folder." "Ya erick." My aunt replies.
Kyle makes his way to me. His eyes are red with a tear rolling down his cheek. "Are you leaving me too?" Kyle whispers with the downest, sadest, look. I remane quiet and grab his hand. " Remember, " i say with hesitation and with my last breaths," my sister, she didn't choose to leave you." More tears come upon me as well. I feel as if someone strong punched me in the gut full power, big swing.
A part in me felt lost, a lost item i will never find. A part in me sank. My lips parted, trying to look straight into those hazel eyes and tell him, I did choose to leave him. But a part of Kyle will always reman in me. I breath harshly, how can I find the lost words to i love you? I loved Kyle, but not in a way of 2 people love. In family love.
"Kyle I-" the sound of my sister's voice is heard reading the letter my mother wrote before her death. "I have full custity of Bayzle Marie Adams when i turn 21," my sister cries. "And how old are you, 18, yea?" My aunt's mocking voice replies. "I'm, I'm," my sister hesitates. Kyle widens his eyes and holds my hand tight. "I'm 21."
