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"I'm going to miss you." Kyle helps me take my bags down stairs. Anxiousness takes over me, i don't want to move. I don't want to start again. Yes my life is shit but i'm not ready for a new good life? Me, here, thinking that all life had for me was dishonor, more pain, and a terrible experience. But now this happens? A good life. Do I really deserve this? Should some one else not take my place?
My blue eyes turn to Kyle. Currenlty we are by the road on the side walk. It's a cloudy, dark day. But for me, sunny days are just waiting to happen. I hope. Kyle pushes a soft, black, strand of my hair behind my ear. Again, his hazel eyes meet mine. He pushes back his light brown hair. I'm going to miss that.
The only thing i'm going to miss from here is Kyle. The only person who was there when pieces of me shattered, when he was the shoulder i didn't have, when he was the only hug i had ever recieved. Kyle is elder then me. I'm 17, he's 19 going on 20. He's the older brother i never had, but always wanted. He was there for me, and theres not enough money in the world to pay back every single thing he has done for me.
"Tell her the words, tell Clare the words i never had the guts to say to her...for me?" He looks down to his hands. "Please?"
I breathe in deeply and look down the road. "She is going to get married Kyle." I look into his eyes.
The point of fighting for love. Two people, two bodies, two souls, become one. One love, one person, sharing same feelings for each other. What is love? I will never find out. I'm too hurt to know, i promise. "I need to fight for her, Bayzle, i just, i can't let her go." Words like these. Words like these make me ponder, fight for what? What's the point in love? Whats the point in life? Our time will come sooner or later. What's the point in enjoying? Or loving.
"I can't, Kyle, i love you. Your the older brother i never had. But this isn't my battle. It's yours, you love her don't you?" I stop. He looks at me with saddness drowning in his tears. "I love her." He wipes his tears off. "Tell her that, not me. Fight for love, fight for what you can stop now, or regret not doing nothing about it later." I grab his hands.
I feel his sadness. I can relate to his pain.
"We're coming back Bayzle." We're coming back. Mommy, daddy, don't go. Don't go. Don't leave me. Don't go.
Words of the past meet me again, something i tried to stop but failed. I'm shit, i'm shit.
"I havn't seen her for 4 years." He cries more. "For the same reason, i think she still hasn't lost her love for you." I give him hope, something i need. "Like you said, she's getting married, the spark, the moments, the love. Their gone Bayzle, i lost her." He looks more down than before. No, i can't see him brake down like this, not infront of me.
"Kyle, I, I'm sorry. I know, i feel it, she still loves you." Kyle's looks at my palms and grabs my hands. "You know when i hold your hands, it feels just like her hands. But my heart dissagres," he sighs," when i held her hand my heart felt happy, it felt excited. When I hold yours, my heart just feels a long loyal friendship."
"I'm afraid that when i see her, she won't look at me the same." He cries against my shoulder. "Kyle, i, i really don't." He cuts me off," you don't need to say anything, just, just tell her i love her." Looking into deep, gloomy, perfectly colored eyes.
That won't do justice to anyone. How can i bring back the pain of the past to my sister? Who has moved on and wants nothing todo with the past. She did say she's not regretting her past with Kyle, but she just dosn't want to go to the bad memories, the present is now and she's heading into the future; she says, she's not looking into the past, she's not heading in that direction.
