More Than That

What Do I Do?

Chris let me wear a pair of his basketball shorts and one of his shirts to sleep in last night. After those few small touches we shared and the tattoo thing, Chris would occasionally wake up to kiss my shoulder. Every time he did it I would freeze at his touch. I know I should tell Chris, but I'm really not really to tell him about this. Since I intended to stay at Heather's place last night I had extra clothes. Chris let me shower in his bathroom while he used his parents. After an extremely long shower I was dressed and ready.

"Ready to go gorgeous?" I turned seeing Chris dressed and smiling at me.
His smile is still my favorite thing about him. I didn't feel like driving this morning, so I was riding with Chris to school.

"Baby?" He nodded to let me know he was listening.

"About last night, I'm sorry I got so awkward. There's just a huge story behind that and I didn't know how to tell you my story. I still don't know how to tell you."

"Jay, I'm not mad about that. You'll tell me when you're ready. Just 'cause it's something I don't know about doesn't mean I'm going to feel a way about it."

Why must he be so damn sweet to me? After Chris and I went our separate ways for class school pretty much went as usual. I ignored everybody there because I only like the people I talk to, I doodled in my notebook when I finished my work, and I snuck my phone to text Heather and Chris.

August and I presented our stupid project and got an A. Thank God I don't have to work with him anymore. Just as I was gathering my stuff I felt somebody behind me and judging by the immense darkness I felt from them being by me I already knew who it was?

"What do you want August?" I rolled my eyes as I turned to him.

"Heard you ran into my brudda."

"Yeah, so?"

"He invited you ova my Anty house, as much as I don't wanna see yo face in my house my mama miss yuh. So we gon' act lik we the best of friends tonight ya heard?"

I know damn well this string bean didn't come to me trying to demand shit from me.

"August we're not friends, we stopped being friends a long fucking time ago. Thank God for that. We don't have to act like the best of anything tonight. You don't say shit to me at your aunt's get together and I definitely won't say shit to you."

I turned walking straight out of the door.

"Look, broad Yung tryna be nice to yo big ass!" He had my arm in a tight grip.  As much as I tried I couldn't get out of his hold.

The way he squeezed my bicep stung, I snatched myself away one more time trying to get away, but it was no good. I forgot how strong this twizzler body having ass nigga is.

"Aye nigga! The fuck you think you're doing?"

Thank God, it's not Chris. Trell, snatched August off of me.

"This ain't got nuttin' to do witchu' T."

"When it involves her it has everything to do with me, so I advise you to step the fuck back."

August huffed loudly and stomped away from us. I grabbed the few things that August made fall from my hand when he grabbed me.

I didn't want Trell asking any questions about what just happened, so I took off as soon as I had all my stuff in my hands. I need to get out of here. I have to clear my head. I text my cousin and asked if I could use her car for a minute, so I could get away from the school for a while. After driving around aimlessly for forty minutes I finally went to the one place that always has me at peace. Just being there put my mind and spirit at ease. I read books, sang songs, and just talked until everything left me. When I got back to the car I turned my phone on just to be greeted by a herd of messages.

Favorite Mermaid: I know where you are, but your man doesn't. Take your time, but please hit him up 😖

Chris: Babe where you at?👀

Chris: Trell told me you had a run in with Alsina. That nigga touched you? 😡

Chris: Jay, come on mama where you at I'm getting worried.
The messages went on and on, but I ignored them. I went straight to Heather's house. I knew the door was unlocked, it always is when she knows I'm visiting that place. I walked through the house until I was at the very back. I heard music and saw smoke escaping the windows of the junk shed that my uncle turned into outer hang out spot.

Heather was sitting on one of the couches with a lit blunt between her lips and a bottle of Jack Daniel's, that I know she swiped from the liquor cabinet, stretched out to me. I flicked the top off and took a huge gulp. I was halfway to the middle of the bottle when I stopped drinking. I wiped the corners of my mouth to clean up the remnants of alcohol. Heather immediately handed me the second blunt she had lit. I took a hit just hard enough for it to take a small effect on me. I took a seat next to Heather and she wrapped her arms around me. I broke down crying as soon as she did that.

"It's okay baby cousin, it's all okay." She cooed as she patted my back.

I sank further into her hold and cried harder. Heather only held me tighter. She stroked my hair and kissed my forehead as she rocked me back and forth. After I got myself together we talked about what happened that lead to me leaving campus.

"You have to tell Chris."

"I know, but how do I tell him something like that?"

"Figure something out babes, that boy really cares about you. Please don't hide the biggest part of yourself from him."

I know she's right, but I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I'm scared, nobody besides Heather, Ty, and Trav really know the whole story. This is a lot to put on Chris in this short time. I don't know if he can handle all of this.