Painful Realizations (Deamus)

Bitter Realization

Sixth year had turned out to be, by far, the oddest year Seamus Finnigan had had at Hogwarts.

Everything had changed for the sixteen year old wizard.

Dean Thomas, his best mate, had managed to catch the fancy of the fiery, red headed Ginny Weasley.

The renowned, hook nosed, greasy haired, malicious Potions teacher, Severus Snape, had finally gotten the position as the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, to his great pleasure.

And for once, so far, Harry Potter was up to nothing at all. The Golden Trio never sat in a huddle of the corner of the Gryffindor common room, no hushed whispers were made between the three.

But the most odd difference of this year for Seamus was Dean's new girlfriend.

And this thought was what brought about Seamus's waking on the night before his Potions pop quiz.

On recognizing the time as nearly 5 in the morning, Seamus decided against waiting in his dormitory bed for the morning bustle.

Padding down into the Gryffindor common room, Seamus pulled his robes tighter around his small, pale frame.

Though the house elves were surely beginning to prepare Breakfast, the fireplace was not yet lit and the cold room was sending shivers down the brunette's spine.

Seamus positioned himself in a plushy armchair and waited until the clock struck five.

Loosing himself in his thoughts, Seamus reckoned he was just feeling an attraction to the only Weasley daughter out of jealousy.

Dean had never fancied any girl, much less courted one. And Seamus had only ever went out with Lavender.

So Seamus decided he was just jealous his best mate had found a girlfriend first.

Starting as the clock chimed, signalling a new hour, Seamus climbed out of the portrait hole and down the corridors to the Great Hall.

His fellow Gryffindors appeared slowly as the Great Hall filled.

Dean was nowhere to be found either, is what Seamus observed.

Not noticing that Ginny Weasley was absent as well, Seamus set out to the abandoned classroom Dean spent time fooling around before classes.

But upon his arrival, Seamus heard no pops signalling the game Exploding Snaps, Dean was fond of playing before Potions.

Instead he heard grunts. Confused, Seamus pushed his ear closer to the door.

Oblivious to the horrible feeling within his lower abdomen, Seamus pushed the door open.

He dropped the toast he intended to bring his best friend as he took in the sight before him.

His best mate was shagging the daylights out of Ginny Weasley.

And so he ran, ran away from there. Anywhere else.

Seamus stopped right outside of the Potions classroom, nearly an hour early. Sliding down the wall, Seamus cradled his head in his hands, hating his new realization, true realization.

Seamus Finnigan was gay.

Gay for his best mate, who was clearly straight.

He laughed bitterly to himself, running his hands through his already disheveled hair.

It was over, he was done.

Seamus would have to keep his distance from his best mate.

The irony in staying away from someone you love the most was almost too much to bear for Seamus, almost.