I'm Not An Idol | p.jm

me and you - 24

We were sitting in a closet. A closet.

"There isn't any other place you could of?" I asked Jimin while I traced the words written on his sweatshirt.

"This is one of the only places in the building that locks from the inside." He said quickly. The only light we had was a lantern that had been left in here.

"What about the tiny break room Soohyun brought me to? No one could find me when I was in there." I said, looking around the cramped closet.

"Soohyun knows where it is, though. Do you want her to walk in on us?" He held up our entwined hands as emphasis. "How did your interview go?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I'm a cashier now, so that's good, I guess. I walked around afterward, but I came here pretty quick since some guy asked me out." I felt Jimin stiffen underneath me.

"I turned him down, pabo. I only have eyes for you." He seemed to relax, but was still a little tense. I watched as he kicked his shoes off. "Jimin? Seriously? The whole closet is going to smell."

"My feet are sore from practice."

I looked up at him, but it was hard to make out all his features.

"You're not pushing yourself too hard, right?" I asked softly, resting my hand on his chest.

He didn't respond. I bit my lip.

"Jimin-ah...please remember to rest. And eat properly. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for for your members. For me." He sucked in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Naerin, I can't...I guess the past few days have been hard. You are my escape from it all." He pressed a soft kiss onto my lips.

"So that's why you've been acting weird?" He nodded quickly. "It's okay to struggle. And it's also okay to use me as a vacation of sorts. I know you have good intentions." My arms slid around his torso, pulling him into my embrace.

"God, Naerin, I'm so in love with you."

I froze. My heart skipped a beat.

So many thoughts began slamming through my head. What do I say? What do I say?

He can't love me. It will only hurt him. I'll only hurt him.

I can't breathe.

"You don't have to respond. I know you don't want to put a label on whatever this is. But I love you, Naerin-ah. A lot. Probably too much." He brushed the hair out of my face. I couldn't speak.

Even if I did love him...isn't that selfish? He could achieve so much more in his life, wouldn't I just hold him back?

"I can't—"

"Just don't say anything. It'll only hurt more." He said quietly, his voice breaking.

I'm already doing it. There are tears in his eyes because of me.

"I don't want to hurt you." I blurted out, almost desperately. "I don't know how I feel."

"Naerin, we can't just keep making out and sneaking around without ever talking about what we are. I gave you time to figure it out, but what's the point if you don't love me back?" He gently unwrapped my arms, pushing me away. My heart broke with each inch that separated us.

"What's happening right now? A few minutes ago we were doing fine. I was happy. Weren't you?" My sadness melted away into something harder.

"Yes. I was." He said, staring at me as if he had never seen me before.

"Then why do this? Why complicate things?" I hated the words coming out my mouth. Jimin hadn't done anything wrong, he had just confessed to me, for God's sake.

"I can't even say you're mine. Do you know how hard it was to hear that story about that guy asking you out? To pretend that I don't care?

"I told him I wasn't interested." I said quietly, suddenly feeling guilty.

"But you didn't say you had a boyfriend. Are you embarrassed of me? I always expected that a girl I fell in love with would be proud to date me. I even worried they would love the fame more then me. I don't understand you." He ran a hand through his hair.

"I will ruin your career, Jimin! Everything you worked for will be useless! Already, there are rumors and lies about us. About you. Can you imagine what would happen if we told the public about our relationship? I wouldn't be able to watch as the press and your fans rip you apart just because you love me." I was holding back tears now, refusing to make eye contact.

"Then we keep it a secret. But we could tell the other members! Our families! And don't you dare say a damn word about how Jungkook would react badly." Jimin barely ever raised his voice. It was a little scary, and made me mumble and stutter.

"He would hate me. He would send me back to Busan and I would never see you again." I snapped.

"I don't know why you ever let yourself believe that. He would never do something so selfish. Sure, he'll be pissed, but I'll deal with it, okay? Even if he did kick you out, I would quit and move back home with you, goddamnit." Fear sparked through me.

"No." I choked. "You can't throw your life away for me. I won't let you."

"Where does this even come from, Naerin? I know you went through some shit when Jungkook went to Seoul, but I can't understand how that made you think so lowly of yourself."

"I don't know." I breathed, putting my face in my hands. I had no energy left to argue. "This is a stupid fight. We're literally arguing about how we love each other a lot.

A beat of silence. I realized the mistake in my choice of words.

"Love each other? Do you love me?" He asked, his voice quiet.

I slowly nodded my head.

"Then why are you so scared of a relationship with me?"

"I already told you. It'll end badly. Especially if we tell people."

"I'll take that risk. You are worth it." He reached a hand toward me.

"Jimin—"

"Just try. If it doesn't work, then it's my fault." He was almost pleading now, his hand still out in front of him.

Every single one of my thoughts was telling me this was a bad idea. It probably was the stupidest thing I've ever done. But the hope in Jimin's eyes was so bright...and I wasn't sure I could handle him ignoring me.

"We only tell friends and family. And I want to wait a few days, at least."

"But you're saying yes." He said, seemingly breathless.

"Yeah. I'm saying yes."

~End of Chapter~
Hello lovelies! I had sooo much fun writing this chapter. I'm not sure where the inspiration came from but I've been dying to write this book! More updates soon!
~k