The Stars of 1973~Brian May x Reader

6 / soft light

every day that passes since Brian tells me about his illness, he gets weaker. he sleeps for longer hours, breathes heavier, and find it hard to do the easiest of tasks such as making his morning tea and toast. he says his stomach hurts and doesn't move. he lies in bed all day and does basically nothing. it must be so boring. i ask him to at least sit up and beg him to play something, anything, on the guitar. he says no because "i'll sound terrible" but i know he just can't. he physically can't. it pains me to see his fingers shake and struggle to grip a cup of chamomile tea. when they used to be so poised and strong, able to play the heaviest riffs and caress my face and hold my hand. his hands were him. i take time off class to take care of him, i'll go back once he goes to the hospital. i put the record of his album on the turntable and wait for it to start. a soft guitar riff fills the room and Freddie's golden scratchy voice starts up.

keep yourself alive
keep yourself alive

i stare at Brian as his eyes glaze with newly forming tears. his shoulders tense and he shakes. i pull him in for a hug as i hold him.
"you have to go to the hospital" i say. he shakes his head.
"no. no doctors, please. i just want to stay here with you, where the light can be off and it's quiet and peaceful and i can think. and the visitor hours aren't forever. i need to see you all the time. please, love, i beg of you. no hospital" Brian pleads through a soft, broken voice. "doing all right" starts up on the record and this now sad music, causes Brian's tears to spill out. i rub his arm.
"shh it's okay, love. you'll be fine. i promise i'll visit you all the time. i'll be there with you so much you'll want me to leave" i say cracking a smile. his glassy eyes stare into mine, my heart breaks for him. he looks so miserable. i would do anything to be in his place.
"i-i don't want to be alone" he says. i hold him tighter.
"you won't be." i reply into his chest. he hums into my hair.
"i love you."
it's the first time he says it. my heart goes into my throat. i look up at him.
"really?" i ask. he smiles.
"of course, dear. i don't know where i would be without you and you mean so much to me. i would probably die without you. who else would make my morning tea and toast?" he says. i giggle.
"true.. and.. i l-love you too" i reply and kiss him lightly on the cheek. he holds me tight, his fatigue fading with the new adrenalin. love. my eyes scan the room, admiring the beauty. a soft early morning light shines on us from the window. his pointer finger traces a circle into the small of my back and i play with his curly hair. he stares into my eyes and his forehead rests on mine.
"Bri, can you sing me something?" i ask. he sighs.
"of course, love." i smile because it's the first time he agrees to do anything music related since he got sick. he hums "piano man."

sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight
while we're all in the mood for a melody
and you got us feeling alright

his soft voice fills the room. i reminisce about the night i saw him in the concert. how confident and comfortable he looked on stage. i wonder if he misses it too.

"Bri, please go to the hospital for me. you will heal so much faster and you can get to playing music faster! you can finish your astrophysics research paper too!" i say, knowing that those are two very important things to him. he thinks for a moment and sighs in defeat.
"fine i'll go for you. but if i don't get better, i'm blaming it on you" he says and kisses my forehead.

****

the car tires groan on the gravel parking lot of the hospital. i help Brian walk to the ER and his feet barely drag across the ground.
"what seems to be the problem?" a young nurse asks as she helps me walk Brian to a bed.
"he has hepatitis and he's getting so weak" i say. Brian stares at his feet. the nurse looks over him and calls over a doctor.
"are you related to him in any way?" the doctor asks me.
"i'm just his girlfriend but we've been together for a long time. i take care of him. he needs me"  i say. the doctor nods.
"okay you can visit him from 9 am to 11 pm" the doctor replies, scribbling it down on a chart. i sigh in relief. that's basically the whole day. Brian seems content with this time slot. i look at him.
"it's going to be okay" i whisper as the nurse wheels him away to a room.
"you can stay here if you'd like. we're going to examine him and inform you on his condition later. you're welcome to get a drink or something to eat in the cafeteria downstairs. we'll be ready in about an hour or so" the nurse explains. i nod.
"thank you." she smiles and walks away. i go back to the apartment and pick up Brian's guitar and notebook and some comfortable clothes for him. i'm back at the hospital and get some tea before they inform me on Brian's condition. after a few minutes of waiting, the doctor steps out of the office and sits down next to me.
"look, Brian's condition isn't going to get much better anytime soon. he needs a lot of bedrest, a good diet, a lot of medicine, and he should recover fine. it's going to be difficult but if he follows his treatment well, he should recover by springtime" the doctor explains. it's good to know that he'll be okay but he's going to be in discomfort for so many months. "he's going to lose his drive in nearly everything. that includes, talking to people he cares about and music, which i'm sure he cares about as well due to the guitar next to you. he cares about you a lot and his family can't come and help, so we'll treat you as if you're family to him. is that okay?" the doctor asks. i nod. i'm his family.
"i have class to attend and i was planning on going back after Christmas but if he needs me, i'll be willing to cut more class. i'll do anything for him" i say honestly. the doctor thinks for a moment.
"i wouldn't want you to cut anymore class. catching up is a lot of work, and i'm sure you would want to spend that time with Brian. the staff here will take great care of him and he'll have access to the phone at all times in case he needs you for anything" he explains. he has a point. he is in a hospital now. there are trained people here that can help him. i should go back to class. i shake his hand.
"thank you, doctor. i'm so grateful for you and everything you're doing to help Brian. he's everything to me" i say.
"if you two don't get married, i'm quitting my job" he says with a hearty laugh. i giggle. "you can go see him now." and with that i walk to the room, my footsteps echo in the hallway. Brian lies on a big white bed, his heels nearly touching the end. he looks so comfortable yet so sick at the same time. he's curled up in a fetal position, his hospital gown and the fluorescent lights making his pale skin stand out and shine. his eyes find mine and he breathes out a sigh of relief. he weakly lifts his arms and i dive into him. he breathes into my shoulder.
"thank you" he whispers. i nod.
"you're welcome, love" i respond. we just sit there and hold each other. the doctor takes this as his cue to leave and steps out of the room. we lie there and stare up at the soft light emitted from the windows.