Infinity Symbol

Chapter 16

Chapter 16-Love&Suicidal thoughts
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      Recap: "I'm so proud your trying so hard love.♡" Charlie says, kissing my cheek.

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       I giggle happily. I feel the happiness, but then I am getting thoughts to end it-Or attempt it- again. Jamie comes upstairs, along with Elijah and Thomas, The gays.

       "Hey bitches.♤" Jamie says, hugging me and Charlie. "Sup gays,■" Thomas says, smiling warmly. Kissing Elijah's cheek.

      He blushes, looking over at my smirking smile. I wink as he looks away. "You guys are so cute." I laugh, Elijah glares at me.

      "Let's all have fun!♡" Charlie says, smiling at us all. I smile and roll my eyes. We all sit together in a circle on my floor. "Deets.■" Thomas says, loudly. I roll my eyes.

      "How are you two?" I ask, yawning a little. "We're good as the terms of a couple. Personally I feel weak, But still loved.°" Elijah says.

      "Awe, Eli." I say, rubbing his back. I remember when it was me, Charlie, Elijah, and Jamie. I would like to play that again.

       "Can we play truth or dare again?" I ask, them all nodding. "Yea, I remember the one time.♡" Charlie says, flushed. Kissing my head. All of us but Thomas laugh.

      "It's a long story babe.°" Elijah laughs. We all sit in that circle and do rock, paper, scissors. "Truth or Dare Eli." "Dare.°" He says, not caring. "I dare you to make out with Thomas." I laugh.

      He blushes and sits on Thomas's lap, making them both blush. Eli kisses him and they slowly start to make out. Moaning and groaning.

      "That's a little too hot.♡" Charlie whispers gayly to me. I giggle quietly to him. "Like you." I smirk, he gasps shortly and blushes.

      "Okay, Your turn Eli." I say, they pull apart. "Truth or Dare, Charlie.°" Eli says, sitting in his spot between them again.

      "Dare.♡" Charlie says. "I dare you to kiss Jamie.°" Eli says. Charlie gladly kisses Jamie, making out a little bit but pulling away. "Truth or Dare Jamie..♡" He pants.

      "D...Dare..♤" Jamie pants. "Make-out with Luna. This is gonna be a whole circle of games.♡" Charlie says. Jamie kisses me and I start the making out session.

      She pulls away giggling. "Truth or Dare love,♤" Jamie asks me, "Dare." I say, not very confidently. "Well, make out with Thomas. Sorry Eli.♤" She says.

      He sighs and nods. Thomas grabs me, holding me close, and kisses me. I flush, embarrassed. He starts the making out and I groan into it. Pulling away.

      I pant, and breathe heavily as he pants. "T-Truth or D-Dare T-Thomas..." I ask, flushed. "Dare...■" He says, still breathing heavy.

      "Makeout with Eli, then we have done a whole circle." They both Makeout and as they pull away we clap. "Okay, done with the game. Now what now?"

      They all shrug. "Did you take your meds today?♡" Charlie asked, I nodded. Lying. I sigh, getting up and going to the bathroom.

-You know he hates you?-

What?

-Your a worthless kid-

Who are you?

-You should kill yourself, Do everyone a favor. Even yourself.-

S-Stop...

-They all want you gone.-

      I grab my razor blade, *I hide one in my bathroom*, and cut along my wrist. Watching the blood flow down into the sink. I run water over it, wincing.

      I wrap my wrist and pull my sleeve back down, going back out to them. They smile at me, I smile. Fake as all hell. And lay on my bed.

       Charlie comes over to me, whispering into my ear, "Take your meds love.♡" He whispers, rubbing my palm that I cut the wrist of. "How?..." I ask, tearing up.

      "I just knew.♡" He whispers. I sigh, going to my desk and grabbing my bag of pills. The others look at me and I look down, embarrassed. "Don't stare, She needs to do something that is kinda personal still.♡"

      Charlie says, Everyone nodding and looking away, Talking amongst themselves. I take my Prozac-Antidepressants-, and my Benzodiazepine-Anxiety Pills-, taking them and sighing.

      I sigh, feeling the thoughts numb away. I put away my meds, and hug Charlie. Charlie smiling, rubbing circles on my back.

      I hear a knock at my door, getting up to answer it. "Hi little one." I say, James staring at the ground. "What's up?" He hugs me, crying silently into my side.

      "The voices, I hurted again...♧" James says, crying more. "I failed you..♧" He crys. "Shh.. No, You didn't fail me. I also 'hurted' today... The voices are too much." I cry, hugging him back.

      Come here, we can lay on my bed. He nods, we go lay on my bed. I hold him close as he crys into my chest. "Did you wash them?

     He shakes his head. I grab him and take him to my bathroom, setting him on my counter, rinsing his arm off. I wrap his arms afterwards.

      I kiss his arm and roll his sleeves back down. ( A/N: I left out he's wearing long sleeves, she did roll them up don't worry. ) He hugs me and I hug him back, rubbing circles on his back.

      "Do you want to sleep in here?" I ask softly, hoping not to make him cry, it's been a rough day. He nods slowly, I nod, and take him to my bed, laying him down and tucking him in.

      "Guys don't be super loud, My brother is gonna sleep in here. He's had a rough mental day." Charlie nods understandingly.

      I kiss my brothers head, him falling asleep. I smile and hug all my friends together. "I know Thomas used to be the bully. But we're all friends now and I'm glad we're all friends."

     I say happily, smiling, while not being super loud. They all smile and nod. I kiss Jamie&Charlie's cheeks. Eli doing the same to Thomas.

      "We should sleep, it's like 1 in the morning.■" Thomas says whispering, laughing. We all nod, and lay on the floor with blankets and pillows. Falling asleep.

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