Chapter Two

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Here's another update! It's a bit of backstory before I continue on with plot.

Also, I changed the cover for the book because I wasn't feeling the other one.

Enjoy!

Chapter Two:

Two years ago, Mae died. She was the brightest beacon in my life. We met freshmen year at New Cresthill University in our dormitory. Our roommates were both nightmares, the ones people always jokingly warn you about before you go off to college. We both hid out in the common room of our dorm, neither of us wanting to be in our rooms for a prolonged period of time. We sat at opposite tables or couches, never looking at each other except for a slight nod of acknowledgement. It took a couple weeks before we even talked to each other. And a couple months before we grew to be friends. By the end of the Fall semester, I was lucky enough to call her my girlfriend.

Her blonde hair, blue eyes, and light skin were a stark contrast to my darker features. She was sweet and funny and incredibly intelligent. I fell head over heels for this girl. We had the same dark sense of humor that bordered on mean and self-deprecating, but we understood each other. Or at least I thought we did.

We dated all through college. There were ups and downs just like any relationship, but we worked through them. I was a bundle of anxiety trying to prove my worth to myself and my family, and Mae, well...she did her best to hide her depression. She tried to keep it from me, but after nearly a year of dating, I had come to notice it myself. Her jokes were always half-truths, and her mental health wasn't as healthy as I had once thought. But I loved her, and I never stopped loving her because of that. She supported me, and I, her. There wasn't anything we wouldn't do to ensure the others happiness.

We moved in together after we graduated, we lived together for almost a year. I was going to propose to her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving this incredibly beautiful and generous woman. Except, life got in the way of that. Or rather, death.

I didn't realize to what extent Mae was suffering. I tried my best to make sure she knew I was there for her, that I would always help her to the best of my ability. She was seeking help with a therapist and taking medication. But, somewhere a long the way, she had decided she didn't want to fight anymore. And I was too blinded by my own desire to marry her that I didn't see it coming. I was so swept up in planning the perfect engagement that I was ignorant to Mae's suffering. That was until I came back to our apartment and found her dead in a pool of her own blood. The rest is a blur of faces, bright lights, and questions.

My older sister, Colette-who I call CoCo-came to stay with me for a while. She tried to pick me back up, help me get back on my feet. But I couldn't live in that apartment anymore. I couldn't sleep in a bed I used to share with Mae or go to the bathroom where I found her dead body. CoCo and my younger brothers-Asa and Christopher-helped me move out of mine and Mae's apartment in New Cresthill City to a small place in Bellburry right outside of the city.

There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't miss Mae. She was my whole world for five years and then suddenly she was gone. I don't remember much from the following year. I drowned myself in my work at the university and in alcohol during the nights just to sleep. My family worried. I was always getting visits and phone calls from them. They suffocated me with attention, pity, and continuous talks about letting my life slip away. I was done with it; I was tired. I love them for trying to help me, but I didn't want help. I wanted to be alone.

They would hound me when I didn't answer their calls. Appear at my apartment when they were beyond concerned. CoCo, Asa, and my parents wanted to be my saviors. Christopher, my baby brother, wanted to be my friend. He'd drive over from North Clemmons University-which was a short drive from the city-on the weekends and hang out with me. We'd binge watch movies, eat take out, and do work together. He'd do his schoolwork while I focused on another graphic design I needed to get done for my job. He never pressured me, never pushed me to be better. He let me be whatever I needed to be.

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