Best of Me

Chapter Five

Hello hello! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I'm currently driving back to the states after spending time in Canada for the holiday. It's a long drive and I wanted to give you a gift. So, Here's a little holiday update for you all, I hope you like it.
Enjoy!

Chapter Five:

The rest of the night we spent going over my family tree making sure that Quinn had it down to finest detail. She can pick my family out from pictures and knows more than the basic details about them. I still feel bad about having her do this for me, but she seems to be enjoying it in a weird way. She had said earlier in the night that she loved learning, and I think a part of her misses the challenges that come with that.

She hasn't been in school for two years and hasn't been able to find a job that works with her English degree without going to school for her masters. But even without the fancy degrees, she's by far the smartest girl I've ever met. I don't know where she stores all the information she has, but she can readily recall it at any given time. She's going to get along great with my family because of how well-read she is. She knows so much about literature it honestly has left me astounded.

"I can bring you more books to read," Quinn says. She's curled up in a blanket on the couch across from me, her back pressed against the armrest. "If you want that is."

"I would love that," I smiles, "I don't usually have an easy time picking out books to read. I have a hard time with words, you know? Communicating verbally has never been my thing, but I can do it better with art."

"Can I see some of it?" She asks hesitantly.

"Maybe, I keep more of it at my parents house," I sigh. "I-I don't show it to many people, I think Mae was the only one who had seen it all. I put it all at my parents house when I moved...I couldn't look at it, but I worked too hard to get rid of it."

"Well, I bet it's amazing."

"Thanks..." I say shifting my eyes away from hers feeling too vulnerable under her gaze. "Uh, so it's getting late, did you want me to drive you home or..."

"Oh, shit, right. How much more do we need to go over?" I sigh and run my fingers through my knotted brown hair. We've been talking for hours, both about my family and revealing tidbits about ourselves. I was hesitant at first, rightfully so. I haven't truly let someone in since Mae, but something about talking to Quinn-who, for all intents and purposes, is a total stranger-is beyond easy and comforting. She seems to understand me in a way that I didn't think someone could. And it's even more comforting to know that she's doing this for selfish reasons and I am too; and when we're done, we won't even need to talk again. She'll be another perfect stranger, and that's okay with me.

"A lot, we need to figure out the details of our relationship," I sigh again, "and we need to get used to using and hearing the name Riley 'cause they think that's your name. Oh, god, this is gonna be a goddamn mess, isn't?"

"Breathe, Theo," She tries to calm me down. "Let's just sleep on it, okay? We can meet at the park in the city and come up with our backstory. It's going to be fine, we just have to be convincing."

"Are you sure we can be convincing? I mean, shit, you're straight!"

"Bi, actually," She corrects with a laugh. "You think I'd agree to be your fake girlfriend if I wasn't into women?"

I shrug and throw my hands in the air, "I don't know! I just thought that you were-"

"Desperate."

"No! Not desperate, just...nice, I guess. I was panicking, and you were kind enough to help instead of thinking I'm insane like everyone else I asked. I know it's a lot to ask of someone but-"

"It's not a lot to ask of me," She looks at me intently, "I was desperate for some kind of plan for the holidays. It's hard to be alone during a time where everyone gets to be with family and I don't even have one. I want to help you, Theo, and if that makes me nice, then fine, but I get it. I get what it's like to feel backed into a corner and needing a way out; I wouldn't judge you for that."

"You are nice, and I appreciate your help," I say. "I promise to get you a killer Christmas present, then."

"Deal," She laughs. "Besides, I've been told I'm an amazing girlfriend, this will be easy." She calls a cab shortly after our conversation and promises to meet me at the park in the city tomorrow. "We'll get coffee and go for a walk." I walk her to the door and open it for her.

"Okay," I say, "it's a date." She rolls her eyes before she walks away, and I close the door behind her. The weight of the situation finally weighs down on my chest the moment the lock clicks shut. I have no idea how I can pull off lying to my family to their faces. How do I even pretend to be in love with Quinn, as Riley, when I'm still in love with Mae? I haven't a fucking clue and I can feel my lungs seizing in my chest.

I hastily walk to my bedroom and flop face first onto my bed with a heavy sigh tumbling out onto my pillow. My mind is flooded with the images of the blonde-haired beauty I was able to love for five years before she left me. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with Mae, that I would bring her to every family Christmas, that I would grow old with her. Now, I have to act like I'm in love with this woman that I barely know in front of the people that have known me my whole life.

I'm fucked. Right?

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I will update as soon as I can, have a happy holiday and happy new year!

Let me know what you think!