Insecurities | J.JK

Uno

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" Hello? " You answered the call that was ringing the 100th time.

" Wake the fuck up Sleepyhoe ! You're gonna be late on the first day! " A familiar voice yelling through the phone, you pulled away, not wanting to damage your ear drums. Although the last sentence made you shock.

" Fuck.." You muttered softly and ended the call immediately, dashing your way to the bathroom. Judging yourself in the mirror. Eyebags sagging under your eyes, chubby cheeks, slightly big breasts, rolls on your tummy, thick thighs.

" How is all of this beautiful..? " You asked yourself as you examined yourself slowly.

You bent down to take the weighing machine. Stepping on it, it measures your weight. The results were something you didn't accept. Sometimes it would be less or more, most of the time it remains the same. Which would lead to something called, starvation.

You sighed and placed the machine back to where it was, getting ready for the day.

Time ticked by and it was 7:30am. Walking towards the kitchen, you quickly took the box of Frosty Flakes and a carton of milk.

Bowls are for losers. You teared open the bag that was filled with cereal and poured it into the box. Next you poured the right amount of milk inside. An easy way to eat your breakfast.

[ I tried drinking cereal from a cup once and it didn't go well as I expected :') ]

A small burp erupted from your mouth as you've finished your breakfast. A soft sigh in relief and satisfaction, you quickly put on some socks.

BT21 y'all!

A pair of baby blue coloured socks with a graphic of a horse with a heart shaped nose with its head coloured in blue, body coloured in purple. Putting on a pair of black converse, you were ready for the first day.

You had slight confidence. But at the same time, anxiety and nervousness kicks in.

You took your bag and belongings, especially the keys since you kept forgetting them. You checked the time and it was 7:45. With that, you made your way out of your house and locked it up before walking to your campus.

Step by step, you can't help but to think what would it be like in college. Nursery, kindergarten, preschool, highschool, it didn't go well. In fact high school was one of the worst years you've ever been through.

You were bullied for your looks. People would call you nicknames such as fatty, chubby, fatass and many more. The worse part of all is that you believe in those words. Ever since then, starving yourself became a thing.

Mornings started with a cup of coffee and that's it. Lunch was a fresh apple. Dinner was skipped. It continued for a month.

Of course you went to the extreme to the point where you ended up in the hospital. Someone found you outside the washroom, it happened in high school. But after recovery, you stopped and began eating once again. You ate which was a good thing but your portions would be lesser and lesser.

You can't help but worry at times, but having such thoughts can just lead us to somewhere we've never been, or maybe worse than hell itself.

Despite that, senior year was actually good. A male with its hair coloured in orange, his face sculpted like a baby. His lips plump and tinted. His personality sweet as vanilla. His name is Park Jimin. He was the one who brought you to seek help and medical treatment.