But He Stopped Pt 2

They Stay the Same

I gripped the canister of Jet tightly as the world around me slowed.

Gemma's hands made me suck in a sharp breath as they did things to me I'd never known I could feel. I gasped as each stroke was prolonged, more intense. I cried out as I came on the blanket she'd laid down between us. The world slowly came back to normal speed.

"Fuck." I gasped, reaching for the bottle of alcohol she'd had stashed away; grateful for how cold the warehouse she was hiding in was.

"I know." She smiled, "I've been told that before." She flipped her dirty red hair back over her shoulder, it fell back immediately due to the length.

I frowned, jealousy spiking me hotly through the chest. "Could you not say things like that?"

She smiled, her lips were thin as they made a crooked grin, dimpling her freckled cheeks. "Aww, you jealous baby?"

"Yes!" I cried, pulling my pants back on. "Just because I'm younger and you've been with other people doesn't mean you need to rub it in my face. Sometimes I think you're just with me for the chems I can get."

A look crossed her face, "John!" She sounded genuinely hurt, "John, please don't. Don't leave. Not like this. You're harshing my high. Besides, I like you. You're smart and handsome," her hand roved over my bare chest, I felt my dick start getting hard again.

Fucking traitor. I growled at it as my hormones led me back to sitting beside her.

Her green eyes were large, earnest as she tucked her hair behind her ear again. "I mean it when I say you're the nicest guy I've ever been with. If there's nothing else between us you believe, believe that."

I raised an eyebrow, looking at her skeptically. "Do you really mean that?"

She nodded, putting her cigarette out with a rush fever. "Course I do baby." She pulled up her shirt sleeve, my eyes landed on the small round scars marking the inside of her elbow. "Gimme some of the Psycho and we'll really have a good time."

Apprehension filled my gut. I did not like psycho; I didn't like how it made people so strong, so angry. I knew it was my Dad's drug of choice and I knew it was why he had been so callous and destructive with us. I closed my eyes, trying to squeeze out the memory of him.

But this is Gemma. She's different, she wouldn't hurt me. I grabbed for my bag, my head fuzzy from alcohol, post-orgasm relaxation, and the come-down of chems.

I closed my eyes as I felt around blindly for the familiar cylindrical shapes, the leather strap. I held it up triumphantly feeling impenetrable in my altered state of mind. I smiled at Gemma, she watched my with half closed eyes. I could tell she was turned on.

"What you gunna do for me first?" I felt like that was the sexy thing to say, like she would have liked to hear that come out of me.

The nagging voice in the back of my head told me her arousal was only due to the thought of getting high. I shrugged the voice off, wasn't my problem. She wanted to get lit and fuck my brains out, that was fine by me.

"I like this side of you, McDonough." She purred, crawling towards me with her shirt half undone. The sight of her pert little breasts swaying made me harder than a brick wall. "So take charge, fucking sexy."

I gasped as she pawed me through my pants. It's not the chems, it's you. She wants you.

I stuck the needle in her arm, watching her carefully as the high hit her. She gasped, arching. Her face took on a more primal look. I felt the anxiety well up in me as her eyes widened and her smile was more manic. Gemma reached forward, ripping my shirt down around my elbows.

Her kisses were painful, plundering my mouth. I wanted it to stop, I didn't want her to stop. My body and my brain warred as she continued her aggressive seduction. Her tongue trailed down the side of my face. I jerked away from the sudden contact, unsure I was okay with it. It felt... dirty.

My gaze sought her eyes, they were wide with adrenaline. She pinched my nipple, I cried out. She bit my neck, sucking hard. Between the alcohol and the sensations I was a dizzy mess of euphoria and pain, I couldn't decipher where one stopped and another began.

"I'm gunna fuck you senseless." She bit me again. I flinched away, looking at the marks she left on my skin. "You're so dirty, you're so filthy. You like this don't you. I know you do. You're filthy just like me." She scratched my back hard as she rubbed herself against me. "You deserve this." She moaned, her red hair flashing like fire in the dusty sunlight filtering in.

Her words echoed my Father's, echoed Guy's. I felt my heart freeze as every painful memory slapped me in the face all at once.

I looked at her cruel grin as she pulled my pants down without any pretense of love or romance. As the pain and the pleasure collided and I wasn't even sure what I did and didn't like anymore and I thought; Maybe I do...

She's waiting for me. I thought, curling against the kicks and blow raining down from my father. She's waiting for me.

Finally the attack subsided. I hesitantly uncurled, raising my gaze to look at him warily.

"You disgust me." He spat, "Look at you, you're addicted. You're nothing but skin and bones. You're wasting away. You're breaking your mother's heart."

I glanced toward Mom who hurriedly looked away. She was so broken. Her eyes constantly haunted by dark circles, her skin had become sunken and sallow where it wasn't bloated by fat. A few of her teeth were gone, she had a permanent scar above her lip trailing down to her chin.

You let him do this to me. I felt the rage boiling up though it dissipated quickly.

Guy was busy working the people; becoming something, getting out of this fucked up situation. Being his own fucked up situation if the rumors were to be believed. I spat, blood from my cut lip staining my saliva.

"And what about you?" I whispered, rage burning in my chest as I stood swaying on my feet before finding my ground. "What about you and your chems? Sure I drink a little, smoke a little. But who told me to go and start this?" I stood taller, almost reaching Dad's height at 17, even with the chems. "Who's the Psycho addict, Dad?" I spat, my hand lowering to my pocket.

My knife was there. If he touched me again-

"What?" Mom's voice broke through us, her eyes watering, her chin quivering. "You're doing chems? You've been doing them this whole time? You got our son addicted?!"

For the first time I saw uncertainty in Dad's eyes. It had been so long since Mom talked back to him, so long I wasn't sure she had it in her anymore. I saw him stiffen in rage, my hand clenched around the knife.

"You fucking slut." He growled low, taking a step towards her.

Immediately her fire died as she cowered back in her chair, her brown eyes trembled.

"I'm going to kill you." He hissed, his face turning purple, the vein in his forehead popping out. "I'm going to wrap my hands-" His mouth moved, like a fish out of water. The vein in his forehead spider webbed out across his face, blood pooled in the whites of his eyes.

Mom didn't scream till he hit the floor.

I looked at his twitching body, at the urinespreading across the front of his pants. And I didn't feel anything.