#1 in dontsmileatme on 2.25.18
"Don't push me away" i whisper, holding onto her wrist. I was begging at this point. But she was the girl i loved, the girl of my dreams. How could i let her slip away?
Billie's expression was blank as she yanked her w...
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Liked by Allisonx, Elihana, and 5,748,283 others wherearetheavocados: you say i'm heartless that shit still beating Lovemebillie: who tf says ur heartless ur so nice to ppl tf Allisonx: lolololol subs wherearetheavocados: Leave the door unlocked for me @Allisonx Elihana: ooo okay guys i'll get dressed n meet u two at Alison's :)) @wherearetheavocados wherearetheavocados: no disrespect but just stay home @Elihana Billiespartyfvr: LOL TEA????? Stopwiththestraw: AHAHA ELIHANA IS ME GETTING REJECTED BY MY FRIENDS ............................................................................................................................ "Alison?" Billie opens the door to my room. I jump a little, startled. She laughs and flops next to me on my bed. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" she says, suddenly serious "You aren't that boring. I just wanted a quick fling"
"That's cool" i wince. Billie flips on her back and hums. I inch toward her and pull her hoodie down at the neckline. Billie looks at me, her eyes narrowed. I run a finger over her hickey and sigh, letting go of her hoodie. She grins "I wanted more than one, but he said he didn't want to make things too obvious 'cause he didn't want to go to jail"
I ignore her, trying to figure out why my heart is stinging so bad.
"Alison? What's up with you?" Billie asks "Yo, you good?" she takes my hand in hers and looks at me, concern written all over her features. I say nothing, not really knowing what to say, How do you explain you're starting to crush really badly on a girl who's straight? How do you explain that you thought you were straight, but you're starting to what someone you can't have?
"I'm fine, Bil, relax" I put on a smile. Billie shakes her head and pulls me into her so my head is against her chest. I sigh and pretend this was a different circumstance. I pretend that she liked me, too. I pretend and pretend. My wishes come out of my eyes and land on Billie's sweater. They come in small, broken sobs. The come in the form of heartache.
"Let it out, i'm here baby, i'm right here" she whispers, holding me close.
I didn't want her to let me go.
She didn't. ..................... I woke up with Billie holding me against her chest. We were both laying down now, and i was on her chest. I lift my head up to look at Billie and chuckle when i see she's asleep. I guess we fell asleep together. Some of her hair is in her face, and I gently move it to the sides of her face. Billie's eyes open slowly and she groans, turning over "Gimmie like.." she starts, her voice raspy from sleep "20 minutes. I got you.."
I chuckle and walk into the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. I then go to Billie, still asleep on my bed, and shake her awake.
"Billie! Get up, i'm going to make toast" she groans and sits up. I laugh and walk downstairs, knowing she'll come down once she's ready. I pop two pieces of bread in the toaster and press the thingy down, the toaster now on. I feel a pair of hands sneak around my waist and my heart skips a beat. We stay like that until the toast popping up scares me half to death. Billie lets go of me and goes into my fridge, pulling out an apple and biting into it. Love how she just helps herself to my stuff, i think, rolling my eyes as i put the toast on a plate.
"Gimmie" Billie says, her mouth full of apple. She takes a piece of toast off the plate and bites into it. I'm slightly horrified at her mix of fruit and bread, but Billie doesn't mind. I put butter and jelly on my toast and sit on the counter as I eat. We don't say anything as we eat, too focused on our food. When we're done I put the plate in the sink and look at Billie, who was on her phone.
"You leaving anytime soon?" I ask, Billie's eyebrows furrow and she looks up at me, running a hand through her hair "I mean, do you want me to? I could hang around a bit longer cause i'm not doing anything till later"
"No you can stay, I was just curious" I shrug
"You gonna tell me why you were crying yesterday?" she puts her phone down and looks at me expectantly. I look everywhere but at her "Just tell me, I won't judge you. I'm your friend right? Friends tell each other things."
"I have a crush on you" I blurt out and Billie freezes, her eyes wide and her lips parted. She regains her composure quickly and smiles nervously
"You deadass? I mean if you are thats cool but um, you know i'm not into girls right? like at all?" She clears her throat "It's a little weird now that I know this, um. I'm gonna head out, I'll definitely text you, though. I'm not mad I just, like.. need time to process.." She rushes upstairs and then back down, waving at me as she leaves the house. I feel bad almost immediately. I shouldn't have said anything to her.
I walk into my room and shut the door, flopping on my bed and sighing. Why am I such an idiot?
