Living in Fear (Zarcel)

Chapter 5

Marcel(POV)

It's been one whole week since my father beat the life out of me, one whole week since i hid from Zayn and his group, one whole week since my bruises had been getting more and more noticeable, one whole week since i haven't been to the emergency. Now here i am getting ready for school, feeling like poop. I buttoned up a white long sleeve, grabbing my sweater vest that was a bit dirty from lack of washing clothes which it also kind of stunk at the same time. Pulling up my short dress pants since my father won't let me buy any new clothes with the money i make. And last of all my old looking dress shoes that use to be my fathers but he let me pick something i can keep out of his closet a few years back which if course i had to pick a new pair of shoes. I picked up my black rimmed glasses that were taped in the middle and gelling my hair to the side with cheap hair gel just to keep my hair from falling out of place. My hair has gotten to long which is about as long as touching my shoulders but i know how to make it look as if there's anything there. Just with my hair gel and a few pins here and there without being noticed. 

''I'M GOING OUT SO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE DINNER FOR ME ON THE TABLE WHEN I GET HOME, AND YOU BETTER BE HOME WHEN I DO CAUSE IF YOUR NOT THAN I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THE RULES ABOUT BEING LATE. RATHER YOUR AT SCHOOL OR WORK, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!''I flinched just by hearing his voice from afar, giving myself one last look which was a fading scar...well a few of them on my face but no one even cares to ask what they are from so why should i care? 

''Y-yes si-sir.'' I whispered while hearing the door slam extra hard this time, he's always going out but who am i to complain? He had hurt me so bad last night that i was actually up for four hours watching the blood drip down my torn up hole. I had to sit in the shower extra long just to watch the blood get sucked up by the drain, the drain that is well known to take in all my bleeding cuts. I bit my lip seeing that my braces needed to be changed from all the hitting in the mouth, i could see that they were all messed up due to every hit that came to my mouth.  Licking over the front of my teeth, i shrugged my shoulders while slinging my old sachet bag over my shoulder and walking towards the front door but not before grabbing at my house keys. I made my way to the sidewalk while looking down at the small cracks in the cold grey cement, i wonder if it would be easier to live our here than under the same roof with the man that rapes and beats me like some dog.

''FAG ALERT!'' I didn't even bother looking up just to know who it was, they drive by here all the time just to pick up the two girls that live a few houses down. But i'm sure zayn didn't even know i lived on this of the neighborhood. ''YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT, STYLES LIVES IN THIS CRAPPY ARSE NEIGHBORHOOD WHICH MEANS NOW WE KNOW WHY HE STINKS AND WHY HE'S SUCH A BITCH PUSSY!'' I sniffed a few times while biting down on my lip trying to not cry in front of these horrible people, is there anyone in this damn world that has a good heart?

''I BET HE EVEN SALES THAT PATHETIC BODY OF HIS JUST FOR A PENNY!'' I heard the Irish one say as i cringed at his voice, i shook my head still keeping my head down just to hide my tears this time. How can they say that when they don't even know me? 

''YEAH AND WHEN HE'S DOWN ON HIS SKINNY FUCKING KNEES, HE'S GIVING ABOUT FIVE GUYS A BLOWJOB SHOVING THEM DICKS DOWN HIS THROAT FOR FREE SINCE HE'S A FAGGOT ARSE BITCH THAT LIKES COCK!'' I could feel myself wanting to puke since every night before bed, the man that i call my father makes me take all of him in my mouth just for the pleasure of hitting my throat and having me gag. Me having to swallow him up when he let's the salty liquids loose in my mouth, pulling my hair back when he's riding out his orgasm, throwing me to the floor while making himself hard again just to turn me over while he pushes down on my face bringing my arse in the air for him to shove his nasty cock inside my sore arse. Feeling the cold liquid from my arse running down my thighs, me already knowing that it's blood since every time he would let me go....there would be a puddle of blood from my arse down where my legs were.

''DON'T FUCKING IGNORE US STYLES AND I KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING EVERY FUCKING DAY DUMBARSE. SO BE PREPARED IN P.E. WHEN WE PLAY A LITTLE BASKETBALL STUPID PRICK. LET'S GO GUYS, I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR CLASS SINCE I'M GETTING A FREE BLOW JOB FROM JADE!'' I heard zayn say as the car drove off really fast but not before i had a cup of something soda like hitting me in the chest. I felt so cold and broken that this was nothing to me. Well cold because the soda had a whole bunch of ice in it and having it soak through my vest and shirt just made it worse since it's chilly out here.

''Why can't anyone just leave me alone for once? Can't i have a day without being pushed, punched, spit on, smacked,touched in places that would make anyone shiver from the nasty hands, thrown horrible words? Can't i just be happy since i don't know what happiness is anymore?'' I was to deep in though that i didn't even know i was standing in front of the school that i could come to on week days just to get away from the man at home. At least i work afterwards but i'm not suppose to be late or else i get beat and...well you know that rest. 

''Your a quick walker, you know that? I wonder why though since you like selling your body out to those perverted creeps out there just to feel as if someone loves you.'' I heard zayn chuckle being followed by a few others, i barely picked my head up from the cramp that was forming in the back of my neck just to look ahead. Just ignore them, get the beating over with, go to class and start all over at home and work. ''Don't fucking ignore me when i'm talking to you stupid arse.'' I felt him push me hard enough for me to tumble back and landing straight on my arse, letting out a death cry for everyone to look at what's going on. 

''Oh shit, zayn you were right. Styles like's it so much up his arse that he's still in pain from the fucking he had the day before.'' They started laughing while i rushed to pick up my books that i was holding against my chest, looking up with tears already falling to my cheeks. I got up quickly and rushed inside the school just to get to class and feel safe. This time i have some old guy, he's not very nice but he doesn't really bother me since i get all my work done. Here i am running down the halls just to get away from everyone that looks as if they're going to hurt me like the others.

''Ah Mr. Styles, welcome to class kiddo. Your here early but hey i'm not complaining, so have a seat and you can write down the stuff off the board.'' I gave Mr. Johnson a small smile while making my way to the front row of seats and sitting in the closest desk that would be closer of course to the teachers. ''So have you got all your homework done? I know it's a stupid question since your always on the roll of getting anything done. I'm very proud of you Marcel.'' He gently patted my shoulder while walking over to his desk just to take out his reading glasses. 

''Th-thank y-you s-sir.'' I stuttered out while taking my pen and binder out just to start my writing for the day, looking down at the black pen that i had got for my birthday from one of my teachers was starting to fade. ''M-mr. Joh-Johnson? M-may i pl-please bo-borrow a p-en si-sir?'' I had already raised my hand hoping he wouldn't get angry with me asking for something to write with. 

''Ah pen already dying on you huh? Well your in luck that i have extra ones, but you can have this one if you want.'' He gave me another pen that looked similar to the one i was just using, writing down what had been set on the board was quick. As the bell rang and students started filing in the class like a bunch of mobs, i slowly scrunched down in my seat just to kind of hide since i don't like the attention of everyone. 

''Styles here early like always.'' Zayn chuckled while smirking at his mates, i let my head fall to my paper, here comes another day of hell.