Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

September 20th Bonus!

It was past eight when Remus was finally able to drag himself back to the Gryffindor Common room. Bertram insisted on hearing the story of how Remus got his scars at least four times. Bertram then went on to insist that Sirius was a terrible person who Remus should no longer be friends with. Remus could only sigh and play along because Bertram was relentless.

"Hey," Remus said, as he sat on a couch next to Sirius, "I hope I didn't cross a line, telling Bertram that story."

Sirius shook his head, and tried and ultimately failed, to form a coherent sentence; Remus was sitting at the worst possible distance from him- far enough that they weren't touching, but so close that they should have been.

The biggest problem with Sirius' crush on Remus was that he was finding it harder and harder to control himself. It wasn't so much regarding being jealous or pining for Remus to acknowledge him, after all Remus was his friend, so for the most part, Sirius felt like Remus gave him ample attention. But Sirius still had a problem. He always wanted to touch Remus. Just any sort of physical contact. When Remus was laying in bed, Sirius wanted to crawl in too; every time Sirius sat next to Remus, he had to constantly remind himself not to run his hand over Remus' thigh; Sirius wished he could slip his cold hands under Remus' thick sweater and finger every scar that littered Remus' pale skin; he wanted to caress every part of Remus' face as if he could memorize it by touch; and Sirius really really wanted to know what the soft skin on Remus' neck felt like under his lips, Sirius wondered if Remus as susceptible to love bites as he was.

But even though Sirius wanted all of these things, he didn't try to take them. He didn't think Remus felt that way about him, and he wasn't going to lose an amazing person and friend over an unrequited crush.

Sirius did think a lot though about why he was feeling this way. It wasn't like he grew up in a home where affection of any type was doled out. But maybe that's why Sirius felt the need to give it to someone he loved, but this theory was debunked because Sirius loved other people, like James and Regulus, in a brotherly way. But he really didn't want anything from them. Sometimes after Sirius confided in James, the latter would offer a hug that Sirius was pretty impartial to, but he took it anyways because the one time he didn't James looked like he was a kicked puppy. And it wasn't like Sirius wasn't getting non platonic physical affection either. Sirius wasn't proud of the fact that he knew the location of nearly every broom closet in school, but he did, and he had the gaudy purple bruises in his neck to show it.

Sirius thought that maybe he should just tell Remus, at least then they wouldn't be keeping secrets from each other. But what if Remus didn't feel the same way, that would be embarrassing. What if Remus didn't want to be Sirius' friend after he found out that Sirius had a crush on him for more than a month? Of course he wouldn't do that, Sirius thought to himself, just tell him.

"Tell me what?" Remus asked, turning a page in his book.

"Huh?"

Remus looked up at Sirius, "you were just muttering about telling someone something."

"Oh," Sirius laughed nervously, he hadn't realized he was thinking out loud, "yeah, just- it was nothing."

Remus closed his book and looked carefully at his friend. "Can we talk?"

Sirius felt his heart plummet into his stomach. Marlene must have spilled the beans, Remus had to know already. "S-sure."

Remus stood up and waited for Sirius to do the same before leading the way to their dormitory.

"Wh-what do you want to talk about?" Sirius sat down on his bed and Remus leaned against a corner post of his own, facing Sirius.

"I'm really sorry," Remus said.